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Nov

Halloween 2009 – The Awards

This is what I dressed up as.  Did I look like a hot chick?

This is what I dressed up as. Did I look like a hot chick?

So the 2009 costume contest has come and gone and the winners were announced, but I didn’t talk about everyone who entered yet.  And usually when there are individuals in our contests, I talk about them.  Cause screw them.  The gallery is at the bottom if you want to relive the glory of it.  I am going to reference people in the order in which they finished in the contest.  The no sign booby prize people are at the bottom.  Boobies.  Hee.

  • Super Ghost Boy – What can I say?  Who would have thought that a kid who could not even figure out how to hold the goddamn sign rightside up could amass an army of more than 1200 cookie deleting bastards!  Super Ghost Boy, I hope your mom or dad or whoever entered you uses the money to buy you a real costume for next year!
  • The Lewis Carrolls – It was really close on like, Tuesday when the Lewis Carrolls (good costumes by the way) were really fighting the good fight vote wise.  I like them a lot and I hope they play next year.
  • Squeenager – Now we are in the realm of what I like to call “The people who didn’t cheat”.  Squeenager mobilized a lot of people.  Also, not for nothing, but I heard some guys were commenting on her and I will be contacting the FBI, pervs.  Her name is not Squeendult.  Anyway – hats off to you, undead child.
  • Fragileheart – Prettiest costume for sure.  I mean, this was genuine finery.  And she got redressed on Sunday just to enter.  I know cause I was in her yard watching her.
  • Jeremy – Jeremy by FAR worked the hardest on his pics.  I mean, come on.  Look at them.  You have to squint to see him in some of them and then when you do it’s fucking creepy.  I think if he had big tits he would have won.

The rest (and the new pics) after the jump – don’t miss it!!!

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Nov

The Ingenuity of Poor People

Every single person in the following pictures has a tattoo somewhere on his/her body which reads, “Necessity is the mother of invention.”  They probably all have one of Tweety bird, too.

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Nov

Halloween Winners

pumpkin

I don’t have the time or frankly the desire to go through the whole tally of the Halloween contest tonight.  I will update the Contest page with the winners etc. tomorrow night, and you can see all the special awards I will make up between now and then.  I also got a couple late entries I will post.

For the time being, here is the winner in each bracket.  You can be all snuggly knowing that your $100 and other no sign having booby prize will be along soon.

Regular Contest Winner: Super Ghost Boy

No Sign Winner: Zorro and Catherine Zeta Jones.

So…hooray.

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Nov

Quiz: Things there are four of

four

Quite a while ago I did a quiz of things there were three of.  Well, I found the bookmark AND my password for the quiz thing, so, after a delay of 6 months or so – here’s the next quiz.  Post your scores in the comments.  And No Lying!

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Nov

How Does Your Garden Grow?

Them's some melons!  Wait.

Them's some melons! Wait.

A woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.  The woman asked him, “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?”

The gentleman responded, “Twice a day, I stand in front of my tomato garden, naked in my trench coat, and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.”

The woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So, twice a day for two weeks, she flashed her garden, hoping for the best.

Eventually, the neighbor was passing her house and stopped to ask her, “By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?”

“No,” she replied, “but my cucumbers are enormous!”

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Nov

Well, No Shit, Sherlock

He has a box of All Bran every day.

He has a box of All Bran every day.

Well, it’s shit.  That’s right: shit!  Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.  You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit,and tell others to eat shit.  Some people know their shit, while others can’t tell the difference between shit and shineola.  There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits.  There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.  You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the sh it, or duck when the shit hits the fan.  You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.  You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.  Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.  Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.  You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.  You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.  Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.  When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic building block of the English language.  And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know anything else! !  You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don’t give a shit!

Well, shit, it’s time for me to go.  Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit.  But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head…well, shit happens!!!

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