Alright Dr. Who fans, this lady needs no introduction. This beautiful brunette makes time travel look sexy. Hailing from Blackpool, England, this saucy brit began her career in 2005 as Jasmine Thomas on the British soap opera Emmerdale. Let’s just thank our lucky stars that she didn’t wind up staying in daytime wasteland! On March 21, 2012 producers for the super popular BBC series confirmed that Jenna-Louise would be playing Clara Oswald, the next companion to the Doctor, and we couldn’t be happier.
Beautiful brunette locks, dimples to die for and can turn an old telephone booth into today’s must have accessory? Clearly you can see why she is my choice for Woman Crush Wednesday! Be sure to check out BBC for all the information you need on show times and past episodes!
- If you don’t wet brine your turkey you might as well move to England. My house wet brines. It is good thing. Seriously try it.
- Got pissed that my car is so slow (pictured above).
- Unapologetically ate green bean casserole. And not some fancy recipe for it, either. The recipe that is on the can. I carry on the traditions of my family except for the drunkenness and emotional abuse.
- Played a LOT of Batman: Arkham Origins. I am all the way up to almost the end, so score. But I didn’t do many of the side mission things yet so I am not sure I am doing it right. I am always leaving things on the table with these games. I am glad books don’t lock important chapters unless you pass a quiz on other parts of the book.
- I didn’t watch any football because I hate Dallas, could not care less about Detroit (the team, I am actually rooting for the city) and would not watch Pittsburgh against Baltimore unless it was a guarantee that Bane would attack the stadium and drop both teams in a sinkhole.
- Got my hair cut. I always go to the same place and to the same person in that place. Her name is Melissa. She likes horror movies and hates to give happy endings at the hair cut place. The place I go to is a chain and if you pay extra they take you in the back room and wash your hair, put a hot towel on your face and then put you back in the barber chair and run a massager over you. I am serious. Look. I would rather get a ripcord from a chick with a hook for a hand than get a happy ending at the haircut place. Every time I see some dude sitting there with a mortified hairdresser (barber?) running that vibrator on their shoulders I gag a little. I also was happy to find out that according to the chicks that work there, I am the first person to call it a happy ending and now they all do. That pleases me. And I look goooood.
- Read some of the second Hunger Games book. It was recommended to me. It’s pretty good. But I still think The Long Walk is the best killing kids in the future story. If you have never read it, check it out.
- Watched Argo. Wasn’t bad. Not sure why it won the Oscar. Made me ok with Ben Affleck as Batman for some reason.
Then on Sunday I finished this post because whatever I did on Sunday was going to be boring and sad because the break is over. Rats.
That banner pic is terrible. But the song this week is pretty good. I had forgotten about it completely but the second I listened to it I remembered all about it. I am not sure if that is good or bad for a pop song. I suppose if I had a song and someone remembered it and smiled when they heard it I would be pretty happy with myself, even if it wasn’t an all time hit or anything like that.
And I have to imagine there are plenty of people out there who have huge crushes on me. And probably some people who just want to crush me, which is definitely not the same. I had a few crushes in the 90s’: Gillian Anderson, Summer Sanders, Winona Ryder, Janice from Friends (do NOT look her up now). What a great decade. Seriously outstanding. And I am not sure what you call a reverse crush but whatever you call it I had that for Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz. I hate them so much. Ugh. Have fun with the song and tell me who your crushes were. Or are. Unless it is me and you don’t want to admit it as it would be super awkward. I will assume that anyone who doesn’t comment really does have a crush on me. So…do what you want with that.
This year at the Gold Coast Swim Fashion Festival, onlookers will get a special treat. Swimwear line Sunseeker is showcasing a collaboration with celebrity jeweler Ann Middleton at their show. Now, Ann has worked with clients like Bill Clinton and Elton John in the past so she’s accustomed to dealing with serious bling. But this project is possibly the most extravagant she’s put together. You see, they made a swimsuit worth over a million dollars. The suit boasts more than 220 brilliant cut diamonds weighing a total of 133 carats. It’s insanely sparkly. But somehow, despite all the money and and Australian gems they put into it, it still looks like a costume I’d see at the local strip club. And you can’t even swim in it! Sigh. It’s still fun anyhow. And it looks stunning as modeled by local girl Samantha Harris. So there you have it, a million dollar piece that’s good for nothing. Ha! I can’t think of a better representation of the celebutard lifestyle. Ok, that’s as deep as I’m going to get. Carry on. And until next week, stay superficial my friends.
Madonna was 40 when Ray of Light came out in 1998. So that means she is 55 now. And she has just gotten more and more terrible as she ages. I was talking about her at work today and these things came up:
- Nobody could believe how old she was. Not in a mean way, but in a “damn she had been around my whole life” way.
- She sucks. That was in a mean way. Like, she is never nice as far as I can tell. I have never heard a story where she did something nice for someone. Like, ever. I googled for “has madonna ever done something nice” and got this:
Nothing! I mean come on. I even read her Ask Me Anything on Reddit and she wasn’t even really nice then. She was a smart ass. Not that she isn’t smart, but she isn’t nice and that bugs me.
- ALL her songs are good. That is a distinction held by only The Beatles and Michael Jackson as far as I can tell. You might not like all her songs, but I think they are all empirically good. I mean the ones that count. I don’t need some Nermal crawling out of a closet complaining about the fourth song on her third album or some crap like that. I mean her important songs.
And then I asked a question that nobody could answer right away. And it is weird they it is hard to answer.
We all knew and loved her as young, nubile Donna Pinciotti on the deliciously retro That 70′s Show. Given her recent turn as incarcerated lesbian Alex Vause on Netflix Original Series Orange is the New Black, it is safe to say that Ms. Donna has grown up! And hot damn, what a beauty she has grown into. It seems that since her time on the retro hit ended she has done all she can to shake that good girl image and that’s a win/win for all of us. Whether she is rockin blonde hair, dark brunette locks or taking a spin in ginger town she owns it. Her style is flawless.
Hot with any hair color and able to make bell bottoms and prison garb look sexy… It is easy to see why she was my choice for Woman Crush Wednesday…
Follow Laura on Twitter (@LauraPrepon) for info on all her upcoming projects and be sure to watch her on Netflix Original Series Orange is the New Black season 1.
This is the stupidest thing I have ever read/watched/anything’d. And it makes me sad that people doing editorials can’t say that someone should poop and/or pee in Sarah Palin’s mouth. I thought this was America!
What do I mean? Well, if you have even been home sick from work and lost the remote and the TV was on MSNBC then you might have seen the Martin Bashir show. Now more than likely you made the logical move and drank the rest of the Nyquil and fell asleep but if you didn’t and it happened to be last Friday then you would have seen Martin say this. And seriously PLEASE watch the whole thing. I ask so little.
OK so first off, if you start out anything about race with “this isn’t racist” then it’s racist. Period. And if you are going to compare anything to slavery that is not slavery then you are wrong. The national debt is not like slavery. So, being a Poindexter, Bashir has his interns dig up a term paper’s worth of slavery horror accented by the fact that this one slave owner made his slaves crap and pee in each others’ mouths as punishment. He uses this to show us that China or Citibank or whoever we owe money to is not going to come find your stupid kids in the future and make them go German on each other. And he says that she is such an idiot that someone should crap in her mouth. And apparently that was wrong.
Seriously. He had to apologize. Look at him.
WHY did he apologize? Why did he call her Governor? She is a half governor. And why weren’t his words accurate or fair? Who gets to judge who should or should not get their mouth pooped in? Me? You? Certainly we can. And if we can, then why not Martin Bashir? Well I guess because he will get fired if he doesn’t? Weak. Why do liberals think they have to play fair? Seriously? This is why they lose.
Sarah Palin is an idiot. She’s the political equivalent of a deep fried Oreo. It sounds like it might be good. And at first it might taste good. But it ends up making you sick and if you eat enough of them you will die. And Martin “nobody watches my show anyway” Bashir should have just left well enough alone. Halfwit Palin has not mentioned his insult and I am betting it is because she couldn’t understand it. Then again, I wouldn’t have been able to use that awesome picture of Sarah if he hadn’t, so good job, Martin. But seriously. Stop apologizing. Just stick to your poop guns. Otherwise you give the other side an opening to criticize you. Haven’t you ever watched people argue politics on the Internet? The statement below is true 99% of the time. And you apologizing perpetuates it.
If you were alive and on the internet last year, I can only assume you were treated to YouTube “sensation” Rebecca Black and her unquestionably annoying yet inexplicably ubiquitous paean to the fifth day of the week, Friday. The brainchild of Patrice Wilson, that song and a shudderingly large number of imitators are created by Ark Music Factory, a production company catering to the wealthy parents of kids who want to be famous on the internet but aren’t quite ready to go full Kardashian.
While Friday had all the auto-tuning and painful rhymes on bizarrely banal themes that have become hallmarks of Ark Music Factory releases (see It’s Thanksgiving and Chinese Food), someone must have decided their catalog just wasn’t child molest-y enough when dreaming up the video for their latest release, ABCDEFG. From the start, with Patrice Wilson as a giant genie in a Mr. Rogers cardigan, there are stops at “I wish I knew how a dictionary worked,” “I should totally get in the van of this creepy old guy who is peeping in my window,” and “Yes, I will drink this mysterious potion you just poured in my drink,” before ending up at human cannibalism in the form of Chinese takeout. All of which pretty much makes this video a complete tour de force in WTF-ery. Bravo, Ark Music Factory. Bravo.
I came to the realization today that somehow we’ve avoided talking about Courtney Stodden since 2011. Seriously. I don’t know if that’s something we should be proud of if I should personally feel ashamed that I missed such an obvious choice for a Bikini Sunday feature. Either way, I’m breaking the streak. Here is she is in all her glory. She’s come a long way since she gained fame for being the teen bride of some guy that starred in that one thing She started out as as an overdone pageant girl and ended up a pretty average blow up doll. From her hair to her chest to those crazy lips, the net weight of her fake parts has got to exceed the sum of her real ones at this point, right? And now that she’s assumed her final form she’s leaving the guy that financed it all. Sigh. Such is Hollywood. Well, what do you think? Was it money well spent or should she have left well enough alone? And am I remiss for having neglected her thus far? I need to know! Weigh in below and tune in next week when the nights get even colder, the bikinis skimpier, and we get more superficial than ever.
I don’t understand anything about what it’s like to live in Los Angeles. I mean, I listened to as much NWA as any other white kid and I watched Colors AND Friday AND Boyz ‘n the Hood and I still don’t get it. Why do people lift weights in their front yard? Why is everyone’s car better than their house? I’m from Maine and it is like the exact opposite of that.
Now that I think about it, it is exactly the same! People don’t lift weights in their yards but that’s just because it is too cold and also nobody there lifts weights. And most people’s
trucks with light racks cars are better than their trailers houses. But maybe that’s where the similarities end.
I have to admit that there is a lot less gang banging but that is mostly because it is too cold to hang around outside and look menacing. And while it would be really easy to hide a gun in the 47 layers of clothes we had to wear in winter, if there was going to be a dust up by the time anyone figured out which pocket the gun was in it the cops would be there. Also, we would call gun fights “dust ups” apparently.
So I guess we could say that Maine would be like South Central L.A. if it was warmer all the time and South Central would be more like Maine if it was too cold to ride in convertibles and everyone had to wear mittens. That said, even if I was in L.A. and surprisingly fast because I wasn’t wearing Bean Boots, I would still not want to fight Dr. Dre and Snoop. Why? Because they lived in a place that was dangerous all the time and now they are both 40 somethings selling crap on Overstock and smoking weed. They must be touch as hell.
So listen to the song after the jump and think about how someone manages to sound cool while saying (because Dre totally does):
Tall, beautiful, and probably has a closet to die for (literally), Eulyn C Hufkie-Womble, costume designer for AMC’s The Walking Dead,is the epitome of a fashion guru. Her style is impeccable whether she is clothing the undead or attending an event. Besides being totally gorgeous, she is a consummate professional that really enjoys her job and adores her co-workers. If you watch The Walking Dead, and let’s just get down to brass tacks here— who doesn’t, you have seen her handy work. She is the brains (no zombie puns intended) behind all of not only the living characters on the show but the dead-ish ones as well. Her theory is that every Walker has a story and that should be represented in their clothing.
Sometimes a commercial makes me interested enough to
creep investigate the actress in said commercial. You never know when someone is going to hit is big. So I decided to find the girl from the Stacy’s Mom Cadillac Commercial. Her name is Magali Amadei and she was a French Supermodel in the ’90s. So I guess yay for her for still getting work? It isn’t like you see Linda Evangelista in commercials. Then again I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.
Either way – here’s the commercial and a gallery of Magali. Magali…is that French? I assumed all French girls are named Suzette.
This week’s episode had a LOT of killing and a sweet twist at the end. So if you didn’t watch it yet or need to wait til it is on Pirate Bay or some crap like that do NOT click after the jump as there will be spoilers aplenty.
As the temperatures continue to drop I find it particularly fitting to feature two of my favorite things: snow and bikinis. Of course, I also hold tacos and cats near to my heart, but we’ll cover those in a future installment. Now one could argue that you’d have to be crazy to go running around in the snow wearing only a swath of lycra, and one might be correct. But wearing bikinis in frozen environments is like cleaning the viewing booths at the nudie shows. Nobody wants to do it, but everyone agrees that it needs to be done. So to the women that brave the snow in bikinis, we all thank you for doing your patriotic duty. It’s a noble sacrifice for the greater good. I hope someone at least got them some hot chocolate for their efforts. So what do you think? Do snow bunnies make you hot, or is it just too cold? And would you ever wear a swimsuit in the snow? Weigh in below, enjoy the gallery, and join us next week same place same time with all the bikinis that are fit to print.
More Snow Bunnies on Superficial Gallery: