The Gallery would not be what it is today were it not for the dedication of the staff. Since there is no revenue and hence no pay, the only reward they get is comments from you, the occasional product for them to review and not having to stay late in the office at night with me.
Despite the fact that everyone and their mother has a "blog" we try to do more than that here. I know nobody cares what we had for breakfast or how we feel about our feelings. There is a place for sharing that kind of info. I call it:" The Annual Christmas Letter that weird families send". We don't navel-gaze here. Well, we do, but not at our own.
I am listing the folks who are currently on staff below in order of their appearance. I was even going to include the people who used to work here but don't anymore but it was depressing. Damn the mummy's curse that was put on the Gallery years ago that I never tell the people who work here about. It has killed so many good people. 🙁
Get to know the people who are working relatively hard to entertain you. I will let them talk to you in their own words as well by including the bios they filled out. And if they didn't ever fill it out they will look like dopes and I will shame them into getting their act together!
And if you want to ask them any questions or stalk them, use the contact form. Make sure you include in your note who you want the message to go to so I make sure I get it to the right person.
Sangfroid's unabashed use of punctuation and grammar has made him a literary standout on the internet. A rising star in the urban/romance/horror/science fiction/Nancy Drew fiction market, Sangfroid is the talk of the local McDonald's. His dog actually ate the first page of his magnum opus "That Foggy Night" and compared it to other great works like the weekly circular for its absorbent qualities.
Long time reader, first time staffer. I am writing my own bio because Acadia is too lazy, and because he recently made the questionable decision to give me admin rights. So, what can I tell you about me? Here are some fun facts: 1. The oxford comma is everything, so Cramsey and I are in a fight; 2. I'm the oldest child in my family which means I am bossy and also responsible; 3. I had a website even before SG existed but it has been on haitus for over a year... still, 2002 baby; 4. I am not as angry as I might often seem in my posts. I am actually funny and nice and pretty laid back. But if you piss me off, watch it.
Acadia, your assignment is to fix the strange fake polaroid effect that's on my photo and nobody else's when I go to the staff page. Please explain so I know next time I try to do something. Kthanxbai.
B. Nevin (2016-Present)
B. Nevin is the new cohost of the Waiting for the Train podcast. Since she doesn't write anything I have to do her bio for her. I'm guessing that her spelling is poor and her grammar lacking, which is a shame because those are the traits we look for in writers. And I heard tell that in real life she is a beautician or a mortician or something. Sort of the same job when you think about it. Weird.
If you ask her, she will tell you she's "the talent" but I am not sure she knows what that means. Unless she swallows bubble gum and blows fart bubbles with her butt while we are recording all I am getting is the same banter she gives the housewives and corpses while she...makeups them. I need to check these resumes more closely when they come in!
Eva Halloween (2012-2015)
I can honestly say that were it not for Eva, the Gallery would not be the place it is today. She manages to do a ton around here including write funny posts while running her own site that I don't help her with at all. In fact I might actually hinder her over there now that I think about it.
From her fortress in the past (she is three hours behind me, time wise) she surveys the site with a critical eye and gives us precious extra time to make our deadlines on daily posts. The Gallery's strategic alliance with Eva's site: The Year of Halloween has given us the ability to tell places we are a media conglomerate and try to get free tickets to stuff. Read her!
Corny has been here the longest of the whole current staff. I have known him for a lot longer than that, though. He never did his bio which actually doesn't surprise me because even though he obsesses over the stats and always wants to know which post is doing the best once I had to make a whole section in the sidebar just for him because he couldn't remember where the login page was.
Oh, and ask him about his toy collection. Seriously, ask him. It's messed up.
Here's the bio he wrote for himself:
I have a tree. And a kite. They like each other.
Princess Peach (2012-2014)
Whether she is submitting her Bikini Sunday post with only ten minutes left of Sunday, or she is submitting her Bikini Sunday post with only fifteen minutes left of Sunday, Princess Peach always manages to mostly do Bikini Sunday every week. And I would not want it any other way. Because if she isn't ogling chicks she is having ridiculous adventures that make it impossible for her to do it.
Seriously, she can't do the post every week. Look at some of the reasons she has emailed me for why she couldn't do the post: trapped in her car by a dog, chased by vampires in a small town in Maine, giant transparent dome over her whole city cut off internet, went on vacation to Colorado and the hotel she stayed in was haunted, she bought an old car and it came to life and killed her friends. See! She has a tough time. Hey...wait a minute....