Anybody Got a Spare $750?

See, I’m watching an auction on eBay, and it’s for a pretty pricey item.  I guess you could say I have a taste for the luxurious.  So, if any of you could spare some cash, I’d very much appreciate it.  The Monopoly money  that Acadia pays me for the work I do here isn’t going to help in this case.  I need the real deal.  Have a look at the item I’m bidding on after the jump.  And don’t you dare try to undercut me at the last minute, either.  I will hunt you down and pee in your garden.

I NEED this.