Cornmeal
It’s not a stretch for commercials to not have anything to do with the product they are advertising. It happens all the time, and seems to peak on Super Bowl Sunday. The thing that makes this commercial stand out, to me, is that what happens to these dudes is real. These poor guys seemed to have no idea what was coming, and really didn’t deserve what they got. It would be fine if the people who set all this up weren’t trying to prove some ridiculously convoluted point, but they really aren’t doing anything more than playing a practical joke on these unsuspecting fellows.
You may remember that I wrote a pretty long piece on the Xbox One reveal a couple weeks ago. While it was pretty therapeutic to write it and get all my thoughts out, due to Acadia bumbling about and unplugging all the wires he could find backstage here at the Gallery, I have no way of knowing if that piece received the hits I would have liked it to in order for me to continue writing things of that length. So, for this post, with the help of the fine chaps from VideoGamer.com, I’m going to try to be a bit more concise.
Swimsuit season is upon us and if you’re like me, you haven’t done a thing to prepare for it. I know what you’re thinking, “There has got to be a way to get in shape fast!” Well, luckily, I believe I’ve found the way. It’s a revolutionary new fitness regimen called Prancercise, and it’s going to get you into the best shape of your life. Have a look at the handy how to video after the jump.
The next generation Xbox was unveiled on Tuesday. There’s been plenty of talk about it already. I’ve spent the time since the reveal trying to figure out exactly how I feel about it, and even now I’m not entirely sure. I’ve decided to write this piece to try and sort it out, so just bear with me on this. I know what the Gallery’s bread and butter is, so if you humor me while I ramble, I’ll give you a bunch of gamer girl pictures at the end.
After the jump, I’ll go into what I feel are the pros and cons of the system. I just want to take a second to touch on two things that really don’t matter about it. First, the name. Microsoft is calling their new system the Xbox One. People are losing their minds about this, and I’m failing to see why. ”It’s a stupid name!” No, it’s not. You want to know what a stupid name would have been? The Xbox Panda Stroker. The Xbox Baby Enema. Xbox Sweaty Nipples. It really could have been worse. Another thing I’ve read is, “It’s not the first Xbox, it’s the third!” Right. So if you know that, and I know that, what’s the problem here? Were you already calling the original Xbox the Xbox One? I doubt it.
Another thing that has people all in a tizzy is how the One looks. The most popular complaint is that it looks like a VCR. So what? Did something involving VCRs traumatize you as a child? I don’t get it. It’s not a big stretch for a gaming system to be rectangle shaped. Most of them have been that shape. I could understand the uproar if they made the One to look like a cat’s butthole or something, but they didn’t. All this complaining about the name and look of the machine just strikes me as superfluous. Isn’t how the machine performs more important?
You never really know what you’re getting when you cook up some hot dogs. Well, you know you’re getting hot dogs, but do you ever think of what kind of meat is in them? I guess it gives you the general idea on the package – beef, chicken, or pork, but it doesn’t tell you what specific parts of these animals we’re getting. That is, until now. Oscar Meyer has finally decided to let you know what you’ve been eating all these years.
Acadia’s out of town this week. It’s the perfect time to misbehave and post things he’ll probably delete when he sees. So, without further ado, I present to you the best mascot ever created: Mr. Balls. Mr. Balls is an anti-testicular cancer mascot for a Brazilian non profit organization, and yes, he is exactly what you think he is. You’ve been warned.