Gleecap: The Spanish Teacher

Just a quick word: I apologize for the Michael recap delay. It was both my fault, and the site admin’s. We were just testing your loyalty, really. Anyway, here come the bulletpoints.

GLEEcap: Michael

Since you people are apparently illiterate pussies, and could not deal with a full recap, I did bullet points this time. The points are not in chronological order, nor are they funny, but, hey, your ADHD won’t be offended by them.

GLEEcap: Yes/No

We are immediately thrown into a song, Summer Nights from Grease. The girls are begging Mercedes for all the details on her summer romance with Sam, and I call bullsh*t. We’re in January. Mercedes has been sitting in the Glee club with them since the first day of school in September. Then again, it is…

Best of Brit

Remember when Britney Spears was young, and hot, and untainted and thinking about her taint wasn’t odd? You know, before she went batshit, shaved her head, flashed her business everywhere? We miss that Brit, that uncomplicated jailbait airhead. The batshit one was good for tabloids and voyeurism, but it was sad and intrusive and I…

Heidi Montag: “Jennifer Aniston Banned Me.”

Heidi Montag is claiming that Jennifer Aniston banned her from the Just Go With it Premiere. Jennifer Aniston, who the fuck do you think you are? Heidi Montag is not all that different from you. To everyone who just gasped at that statement, here’s the breakdown: Plastic surgery: Jennifer wouldn’t even have a career if it…

Dubya Changes Plans After Threats of Arrest

George W. Bush cancelled a recent trip to Switzerland after Swiss human rights groups threatened to arrest him for war crimes. Switzerland’s negative stance on waterboarding, which Bush admitted to ordering, led to the threats when he was scheduled to speak in Switzerland at a Jewish charity event. My reactions are as follow: As a Jew, I can safely say…