Sangfroid
David Orlando can't park this 2014 Ford 150 pickup truck in the driveway outside his home.

David Orlando is being sued for this

"It's ridiculous," David Orlando says. He's being sued for parking his 2014 black Ford 150 pickup in his own driveway.

Home Owner Associations are getting to be notorious for imposing arbitrary fines and liens on rogue homeowners in their communities. These organizations tend to attract incompetent control freaks with too much time on their hands. Often that problem with the mailbox is actually because the family is J-E-W-I-S-H or B-L-A-C-K. It's my opinion that anyone who teaches their kids to S-P-E-L-L that way needs to be banned from any kind of position of authority. Of course if you live in an Over 55 community people with K-I-D-S are just as bad and you hope the Child Catcher is doing his job.

Warning: This property is protected by Child Catcher Security

There are children here somewhere. I can smell them.


The Kimry Moor association cites its regulations, which limits parking in driveways only to "private, passenger-type, pleasure automobiles," according to the lawsuit. The association owns all the driveways in the development, according to court filings. The Orlandos could park their pickup in their garage, but not in their driveway.

Reporters who have driven through the community have noticed other full sized pickups, large vans and sports utility vehicles parked in driveways at Kimry Moor making everyone wonder why the Orlando family is being singled out. It makes me wonder if it's because David Orlando drives a F-O-R-D.

No laundry hung outside, no shacks, no offensive odors. It looks like the Clampett family isn't going to be moving into Kimry Moor any time soon. Then again that old truck of theirs was an Oldsmobile not a Ford and old Jed had a reputation as a hardliner when it came to getting messes cleaned up.

 Jed Clampett: Boy, I'm gonna give you 24 hours to clean up all this mess.

Jethro: Aw come on, Uncle Jed. I'm gonna clean up. I'm gonna set this world on fire!

Jed Clampett: You're gonna clean up alright. Everything. Or you're gonna end up with the seat of your britches on fire.

Now if I was David Orlando I'd get the Ford Diesel Babe to come give a performance out by the cement pond while I had a big pig roast on laundry day. Only thing is I might wait to hang out the laundry till after the smoke show is done.

diesel babe

If you think my truck is smoking you should see my girlfriend!


0
Author:
Sangfroid's unabashed use of punctuation and grammar has made him a literary standout on the internet. A rising star in the urban/romance/horror/science fiction/Nancy Drew fiction market, Sangfroid is the talk of the local McDonald's. His dog actually ate the first page of his magnum opus "That Foggy Night" and compared it to other great works like the weekly circular for its absorbent qualities.

One Comment

  1. Penny
    PennyReply
    January 24, 2015 at 2:28 am

    But what if you want to park your car up on blocks with the tires removed. Pleasure cars are allowed right?

    0

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.