The actress above is Gallery favorite Jaime Pressly. You might know her as the hick from My Name is Earl or the hick from Joe Dirt. Strange, she never seems to play a scientist or a 19th century author. But be that as it may, apparently when she isn’t getting picked up for drunk driving she is being all normal and going to her stupid kid’s graduation from kindergarten or whatever. Sure, she looks nice in her dress and all but I am not a fan of famous people being photographed doing mundane things.
You know the part of Us magazine where they say: Stars! They’re just like us! WHO WANTS THAT? See the thinking is that if Kate Beckinsale and Hugh Jackman have to pay parking tickets and pick up dry cleaning then their life must not be so great. But I don’t believe that at all. Because as soon as Jaime Pressly is done picking up her kid, she is gonna take off that dress that costs more than her kid’s teacher’s entire wardrobe and sit naked in her mansion. So instead of being “just like us” it is more like “acting like a commoner”.
They aren’t just like us. They are taunting us. So as far as I am concerned, all I want to see of them is when they are being glamorous. The only star I want to see in any sort of “normal” situation like putting on his shoes or buying a keychain or pooping is Tom Brady. Sigh. He is so awesome. The only reason he isn’t hotter than old Sleakstak Jaime up there is because she is a chick. Otherwise it would be no contest. And it is still pretty close. I am so gay for Tom Brady.
And if the boring pics below aren’t doing it for you – check out these better ones!
Editor’s note: Eva emailed me to let me know she was busy and didn’t think she would be able to finish the post. I looked at it and realized that the title was good enough to stand on its own so it didn’t really need anything else in it. –Acadia
Eva’s note: Sigh. NEVER MIND.
Since Acadia left all my random notes and links in, I’ll go ahead and update the post to clarify that he is officially internet famous now that he did a guest podcast on The Psycho Sideshow, which you should totally go listen to. CLEARLY he’s more internet famous than Zoe Saldana, who, based on the podcast, Acadia has never heard of. So to help Acadia out (and to save Zoe from certain internet obscurity), here’s a whole Zoe Saldana gallery (or is it Zoë Saldaña? My keyboard isn’t fancy enough for the second one. Or my fingers are too lazy. Possibly both). You can find even more Zoe Saldana in the Superficial Gallery Celeb photo mine, in case you were more successful than I was at play hooky from work today and need something to do between Arrested Development and napping.
Melanie Brown (AKA Mel B.) is remembered by us grownups as “Scary Spice” from the 90′s British pop group the Spice Girls and the horrible movie that followed. Teens probably know her as a judge on America’s got Talent alongside Howard Stern and Howie Mandel. She also went through a highly publicized (and very nasty) divorce in 2000, and gave birth to Eddie Murphy’s lovechild in 2007. But despite all that, the woman is probably best known for her ridiculously athletic physique and penchant for bikinis. Just this weekend she was tearing it up poolside for her 38th birthday flanked by a bottle of champagne and her new husband Stephen Belafonte. And while we’re on the subject of Stephen Belafonte I’d like to mention that in every picture of them together he is either staring at her chest or her butt. While they were dating there was a lot of speculation that he was only using her for her assets, but it looks like he’s legitimately interested in … well… her assets. Personally I’m not really sure how I feel about her. I appreciate her fitness, and there’s no denying she’s hot, but quite frankly she lives up to her moniker. At the end of the day I think I’m more terrified of her than attracted to her. Thoughts? Would you date a woman who could beat you up without breaking a sweat?
So we all know The Hangover III is out and got its butt whipped by Fast and Furious Fisting 6: Six Fingered or whatever it is called but I think if more people knew Heather Graham was in the Hangover movies more people would go see them. I mean, how can anyone be mad at Heather Graham for anything? Being Rollergirl? Nope. Being in…ummm..
Austin Powers? Lost in Space? Gah. Who is her agent? She was like, the queen of the late 90s, wasn’t she? What the hell happened? Why was she on Scrubs?
Well, I have some bikini pics of her. I took out the ones with Ken Jeong in them. If I want to watch an out a shape guy cavort with hot chicks I will…well I don’t know what I would do. It has never come up. So I guess I better not delete those Ken Jeong / Heather Graham pics. I don’t like to not have options.
This weekend Leonardo Dicaprio was photographed aboard a yacht surrounded by beautiful young women in bikinis. Again.
It’s like all this guy does on his days off is hangout on yachts with girls that look like they just stepped off the set of a Victoria’s Secret photoshoot. And a lot of the time they actually did! Meanwhile on my days off I go grocery shopping and watch TV with the cat.
His last girlfriend, Erin Heatherton was a model for Victoria’s Secret swimwear collection.
Before that he was linked to Israeli hottie Bar Refaeli…
Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bundchen…
Romanian model Madalina Ghenea…
Actress Blake Lively…
Even 90′s supermodel Amber Valletta.
I could go on and on. The guy’s hitlist is insane. I don’t know how he does it! I mean, sure he’s rich famous and handsome, but… well I guess that’s what does it. So enjoy your Memorial Day weekend everyone! Leo sure is.