You might have noticed over the past month or so that the site has sort of….been broken. Like me, sometimes it is up, and sometimes it isn’t. And lately it is been even worse than usual. But! We have been working diligently to fix it all and it is sort of working. Things have been pretty stable for like a week. And the more I am out of town the better things seem to go. Not sure what that’s about but whatevs. At least it works.
Over the next few weeks we will be doing some additional improvements and some other crap like that and things will be even better. Then again, the last time we said that the whole site went down for 1/2 a day so who knows what will happen!
Feel free to send money to my PayPal so I can pay to fix things. I took all the ads off so the site would run faster so there went the only money I made. Well, except the ones way down at the bottom which bring in like, a nickel a day. My damn site couldn’t even feed a kid in Africa. Ugh.
So yeah…give your feedback, send money (seriously my paypal is AcadiaATmylongassdomain.com), make fun of me, whatever you want in the comments. I think they are fixed, too. And if it is going faster tell me. Or slower. And check the gif after the jump and see if it works. It is a picture of what happened when I said that there was no way the site could get MORE jacked up than it was already.
The site has always had two parts. Well, three if you count The Batcave but nobody counts that. There is this hilarious awesome front page filled with articles and then there is the celebrity picture part. It is in the back. Not like the back room of the video store, mind you. It’s just that they really both sort of did their own thing. On their own. Sure I always WANTED things to be more integrated but being this funny all the time take a lot of effort and since there used to be two people running one site and now it is one something had to give. So the pic section languished.
In fact it was worse than that. I actually took more than 100k pics out because I needed to make room on the server. But! Since I have moved the pics to that Amazon cloud server thing I can (if it works) put in as many as I want. Of course the move doesn’t give me anymore time than I had before but I have a plan for that, too. But that’s a secret for now since the odds of it working are pretty much the same odds as any of the other dumb things I try. But for the time being, I can offer you this:
95,041 files in 1,386 albums and 30 categories with 8 comments viewed 13,640,456 times
And yes. That does say thirteen million. It is over a few years but it is thirteen million all the same. I don’t know what’s up with the 8 comments, though. I don’t even think you CAN comment. Weird. Anyway, get ready because it is time that the front room knew what was going on in the back!
I was wondering if I should get back to work on the Celebrity Tongue Section and was really going back and forth on it. Then Esquire dropped a new set of pictures of Alison Brie. And as you can see from the banner, she is not wearing a gas mask or popping a balloon or sitting in a cake. Nope. She has her tongue out. So suck on that, other fringe fetishes! We remain the dominant force on the Internet for pics of famous or mildly famous women sticking out their tongues.
Seriously. It’s a thing. I realize it might not be a major victory but it is still a victory. It might not be like being the fastest runner alive, but it is definitely like being the fastest Amish swimmer or the woman who can do Sudoku on one foot for the longest. The only difference in our case is that WE know we are #1. And I am not sure how many swim meets the Amish have so you may have to wait for that one…
Also here are a bunch more pics of Alison Brie’s tongue. Not that you care…
I spent $400.00 on an e-book explaining how to make your website profitable but I decided not to follow their advice and instead I did extensive audience analysis. I came up with the chart above. It might not be completely scientific but the colors match the rest of the site and I think I have the numbers close enough. And after figuring all this out we decided to figure out how to extend our tiny little middle part so we can spread our particular kind of joy to more people.
Unfortunately, since the odds of us getting any funnier are very slim and I would not know the first thing about teaching people to read I decided that the only option is to make more people know we exists. So while I go on a big advertising binge it won’t to do have all the new people coming reading crappy posts (like this one). And since I can’t force the other writers to do everything for me (which would be a good move on my part) I am going to ask you, the loyal audience, if there is anything you particularly want to read or see or whatever.
No butt stuff.
It makes sense that we do all we can to please you because if the big advertising thing works (people still use the Yellow Pages, right?) then you will all get swarmed with new people. So it is best that you establish your dominance now.
And in case I didn’t mention it before, you can suggest anything you want except porn and butt stuff.
Seriously no butt stuff.
You may have all forgotten that I am an accomplished author. Well allow me to rectify that.
I am an accomplished author.
Go buy Whalewolf. I get $.56 cents every time someone buys it for $.99 cents. Apparently I have a terrible agent. Wondering if it’s any good? Well check out this review from renowned literary critic N. Jill Marsh.
Okay, bought and read. I enjoyed it except for the two typos. You need a copy editor, dude.
So buy the thing so I can afford to hire a copy editor to fix it. Then again, she’s from Canada so who knows what she thinks a typo is. Maybe I spelled “check” without a Q. Go ahead and buy it and maybe you can find the typos. Now it is not just a book, it’s an adventure!
I think I did it! Click the gray button to buy it! PayPal!
[purchase_link id="28089" text="" style="button" color="gray"]
So last week we announced that we were going to be adding user accounts to the site (which we did) and that someone who participated in the roll out was going to win a $10 gift card to Amazon. This is the second part of the contest and we have some more changes.
- The avatar thing is fixed. You can upload your own or use your gravatar and the next step there is going to be a way for us to upload some stock ones for you to pick from.
- When you register there is additional info you can fill in about yourself. The next step there is giving a good way to display the profile on the site (giving you some more fame!)
- And we added ranks. It is based on a complex algorithm cooked up by scientists. As of now we only show the name of the rank next to your name when you comment but we are going to be making it not look like crap and have badges. Here are the order of ranks (lowest to highest) but I am not including how you reach each one.
Here they are (lowest to highest)!
- Harley Quinn
- Mr. Freeze
- Poison Ivy
- Ra’s Al Ghul
So give it a try. You don’t need to register to get a rank (but we are going to make it so you do if you want a badge and a profile and the other stuff we are cooking up). If you have any issues with it post them in here. This is a big deal, people. Every comment you make is an entry. NO SPAMMING!