Internets
Today I present to you a cat in a shark costume riding a Roomba while chasing a duck around. And just for good measure, towards the end of the video a dog shows up, also wearing a shark costume. I don’t think I need to say much else. This is not really the kind of thing you can embellish with words. You’re welcome!
Ever watch a music video and not have a clue what is going on? Some of them can be quite abstract, and more often than not, the videos don’t have much to do with the song. Rest assured, this was not a problem for long once the internet got a hold of these things. Today I will give you a single example, but YouTube has plenty more if you like this one. Here you will be told in vivid detail exactly what is going on in Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” video.
Well, it’s the end of a year and the beginning of another. Time for me to take stock of the year that was here at the Gallery and then ridicule it mercilessly. If you’d like to see how things shook out in 2010 or 2011, just click those links. Holy crap, I’ve been here for 3 years?! Most people come here, write a post or two, then disappear into the abyss never to be seen again. Speaking of which, those new writers I mentioned in last year’s post? Yeah, didn’t last. Shocker, I know. On the flipside, we did gain two new writers this year, Eva Halloween and Princess Peach. They’ve been around for most of the year so I’d wager all the money that Acadia doesn’t pay me that they stick around.
The site layout is new. Acadia decided to mix it up a little and also changed the header pic. Then he stripped the mine down to the bare essentials, which in this case means he took out the pictures that no one ever looked at and were just taking up bandwith. When all was said and done, he ended up getting rid of more pictures than he kept.
Overall, the Gallery built on the success of last year and managed even more hits this year than 2011. The contests we ran this year (Halloween Costume Contest & Picture Perfect and the February Picture Perfect) were also very successful. I think the best thing to come out of either of those contests was this picture:
Looks like that’s all the yearly news. Guess it’s time to get down to business then. As usual I’ve got two top 10 lists here, one for multiple picture posts and one for single posts. The reason for doing it like this is that on multiple picture posts, it counts each picture view as a hit. That makes it a little hard to compare it to stuff with all it’s content on one page. I should also mention that these are all posts made in the year of 2012. There were some posts made in previous years that managed to still get tons of hits this year, such as this Kate Beckinsale Bikini Sunday post from 2011 that managed way more hits than anything else this year. Of course, the all time heavyweight champion of Superficial Gallery is still Ice Road Trucker Girl Lisa Kelly. But I digress. Hit the jump for lists.
Seriously. Them and The Chive. And before you tell me I am just jealous I ALREADY KNOW! These jerks steal pics from other places and watermark them. And even worse, they get people to DONATE pics and then they watermark those!
So I found the pic below (on tumblr, lol) and thought it was funny so I downloaded it, took out the watermark and put it up here. That way if someone else wants to steal it and put it on THEIR tumblr they don’t need to feel like a jerk because it has a watermark.
Screw you, 9GAG and TheChive. Someday I will beat you at your own game WITHOUT watermarking other people’s crap. If you ever see anything watermarked on here, it means we made it or took the pic ourselves. Unless it is someone else’s watermark in which case it means that we forgot to crop it out. Whatever. We aren’t the Washington Post. Y U NO LOVE US?
Chris Brown tweeted another picture of himself with Rhianna and they sure do look happy. I have been studying the banner pic and all the other ones of the two of them together since he pounded her face in. I was thinking that I might find the words “help me” or “call the police” somewhere on Rhianna’s clothes but no luck so far. I am beginning to think now that Chris Brown must have some sort of mind control power. It’s the only thing that makes any sense.
If you were a millionaire singer/beauty queen who could have any dude in the world would you go back to the guy who decided that he wanted to be Apollo Creed and made you be Rocky if he didn’t have mind control powers? And yet there she is.
And he has eleven million followers on Twitter. Even after you take out the porn bots and the “social media experts” that is almost a MILLION followers! And he is controlling their minds, too. How else to you explain it? Lucky for me I have never heard one of his songs (which is how I assume he gets you) and can continue my quest to counteract his powers. Seriously. The guy does whatever he wants and nobody cares. I should stop looking for help notes and look at these pictures differently. Each one is probably a clue as to where he is going to eventually hide her body.
See, I’m watching an auction on eBay, and it’s for a pretty pricey item. I guess you could say I have a taste for the luxurious. So, if any of you could spare some cash, I’d very much appreciate it. The Monopoly money that Acadia pays me for the work I do here isn’t going to help in this case. I need the real deal. Have a look at the item I’m bidding on after the jump. And don’t you dare try to undercut me at the last minute, either. I will hunt you down and pee in your garden.