Interviews
In early February we did a fine article on celebrity baker and model Barbarann Garrard in the hopes of her eventually noticing and doing an interview with us. Well, as usual, my strategy worked perfectly. All it took was a little time and me pasting a link to the article directly on Barbarann’s Facebook page and here we go!
I should also point out that she did something completely balls-out cool when we “met” that may change the trajectory of her career forever. Will she tell you about it? Who knows. Let’s find out?
The legitness of this cannot be doubted.
I am not sure how often you go to Europe to read Playboy but if your answer is “sometimes” or “often” then you might already be familiar with the lovely April Summers. She’s been in the magazine in a few different countries over there. Apparently their unification does not extend to magazines. And she is a superstar on Google Plus with over 2 million people having hooped her. She was featured in Maxim in May 2012, Mexican Playboy (yes, they have that!), has her own iPad/iPhone casino app and is launching her own makeup line. Before April showed me how industrious someone could me, I used to be pretty proud of myself if I shaved four times in the same week. *re-examines life*
And if all that wasn’t enough, was Boromir/Lord Stark/Bad Guy from National Treasure Sean Bean ever your boyfriend? Didn’t think so. But he was April’s!
On top of all that, she’s British so she spells things all cute and different. Like “centrefold” and “colour” and “stop leering at me”. And all this before she is 25? Come on, folks. She is going to be a star. And here I am, leading the charge. Establishing a beachhead for her here in America. Being solely responsible for any success she has after this interview is published. OK maybe not the last one but hey, I am introducing you, so be polite. And read the Interview. Nobody has ever handled the “what’s your favorite part of the site” question more heartbreakingly.
According to an Interview in Harper’s Bazaar, Poor Taylor Swift can’t wear the same dress twice. I couldn’t read the whole thing because I am too manly but I did notice when the interviewer asked her how many dresses she had she said:
“Hundreds. Because I’m in a predicament where I can’t wear a dress twice or else it’s pointed out in magazines, so”—she starts laughing—”unfortunately I have to shop for dresses all the time.”
That’s doesn’t seem like it is a very problematic predicament. You never hear the magazines ragging on Bert or Ernie and they wear the same thing every day. Or maybe she’s just hanging around with the wrong magazines. I bet she could wear the same dress ten days in a row and nobody would notice if she did interviews for any of these:
- Popular Mechanics
- Model Railroader
- Yankee
- Cat Fancy
- Garden and Gun (what?)
- Crochet Today
- Muscle Car Review
- Sudoku!
- Fangoria
- Arthritis Today
So there you go, Taylor. Stick close to these magazines and feel free to wear your dresses over and over again. Or just wear them once and if Us Weekly or People make fun of you tell them you sent the dress money you saved to Staten Island. Or send your old dresses to Staten Island. Do SOMETHING nice you spoiled thing!
Ace reporter Acadia on the job again. Lucky Sherman has more famousness to report on so after the jump check out the new interview. And yeah, it was before the Super Bowl – so I’m sad 
me: good evening.
Salvador.
is that Russian?
Salvador: good evening
russian?
me: yes.
like the dressing.
Salvador: no
me: oh.
disappoint.
me: KAIF!
hows it going.
is that Kaif, with a K or a C sound?
there is a subtle difference.
not many people recognize.
but I have the skills and am sensitive to the plight of.
like chinese hamsters
they are very oppressed
when you consider the whole of the hamster kingdom
i hear that their internets are blocked
cant get much of anything involving the “nudes”
Sent at 8:58 PM on Thursday
me: PLEASE SHOW U FEET!