Movies
Making Scarlett Johansson our latest “Every Single Picture” means that we will have to keep revisiting her since she isn’t dead and will presumably make more movies. And as she started so young, the transformation should be pretty cool over time. Looking are her right now, it’s tough to imagine that she’s been acting for 16 years. If she doesn’t retire she’ll have a page that’s like a mile long. And even when she’s old she’ll still look good because, as she once said:
I definitely believe in plastic surgery. I don’t want to be an old hag. There’s no fun in that.
Good for you Scarlett. And also, seems like there must not be all that many really good child actors at any given time cause look – she was in like, every movie in the 90′s.
Updated 4/13/13 – I forgot we did this so I had some catching up to do.
1994: North
Scarlett Johansson as Laura Nelson in North
1995: Just Cause
Scarlett Johansson as Katie Armstrong in Just Cause
1996: Manny & Lo
Scarlett Johansson as Amanda in Manny and Lo
There are a lot of things I’d say I was fairly decent at, but I’m not good enough at any one thing to be considered super talented at it. While I’m already very aware of this fact, it seems like every day the internet shows me a new way in which I am inferior. Today’s little nugget comes in the form of an awesome pencil carving. I can already hear some of you saying, “A pencil carving? Really?” Yes, really. It’s worth a look, trust me.
I was going to link up to some of my favorite past SG material from Japan, but once I entered the country in the search bar up at the top of the page, I remembered just how much we like to post about them. So, I’ll just pick out a few of my favorites, like this Star Wars tuna commercial, this CD cover, or the time Kirsten Dunst ran around Japan making a video for “Turning Japenese” for some unknown reason. Not good enough? OK, try the turning poo into food post then. Need more? I’ll do the heavy lifting for you. Japan. Click it.
Anyway, the reason I’m waxing nostalgic about Japan is that I’ve come across another gem from our favorite country. This is a commercial from the ’80s in which Robocop emerges from a TV, eats some fried chicken, and then tries to hump a refrigerator. Check it out after the jump.
I don’t usually handle the boob pics around here. That’s mostly Princess Peach‘s job. But today, I couldn’t really help myself. I just had to share this picture of Sofia Vergara. See, I have this thing for Sofia. Shocking, I know. Anyway, today Entertainment Weekly gave us a first look of Ms. Vergara in Robert Rodriguez’s next film Machete Kills. Now, I missed the first Machete, and I’m not really broken up about that, but given what’s going on in this pic, I think I may have to check this new installment out.
February 26, 1920: The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari Premiers
Kids, you might not know this, but I run a little Halloween horror site when I’m not filling in here at the glamorous basement offices of Superficial Gallery. So when I started throwing something together arduously researching for today’s post and saw that The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, known as the first horror film in history, premiered on this day in 1920, I knew I would have to make you all suffer through it write about it for this week’s column.
Although tame by today’s standards, this turn of the century German Expressionist silent film tells the bizarre tale of Dr. Caligari, a creepy carnival performer with a near-mute sidekick, the prescient sleepwaker Cesare. Add in a string of brutal murders, a sinister asylum, dark, distorted visuals, and an eerie twist at the end, and you have all the elements of the modern horror story. Got an hour to spare? Make some popcorn, turn the lights low and watch the full film right below.
Since I am a white guy, there is no way I am going to tell women how to feel about Seth McFarlane’s performance last night at the Oscars. I can’t tell anyone when to feel offended or not. And I didn’t watch the Oscars. I worked on a PowerPoint deck that a client of mine needed because I have more important things to do than sit around listening to dance numbers and waiting to find out which millionaire did the bestest in alll the land at making pretend!
The thing that bugged me all day was the million articles filled with outrage and all the sanctimonious comments and Facebook posts about the whole thing. Not because women were offended. Or men. Or anyone. Get as offended as you want. And blame the Academy and Seth McFarlane and ABC and everyone who went along with it. And then blame yourselves. Because you watched it. You watched it last year. And the year before that. And you will watch it next year. And you will watch it every year. And that is why they don’t care how mad you are at any given point.
If the ratings after the boob song tanked then we will have learned something. But if people were mad about the boob song at the beginning and kept watching then shouldn’t they lose their ability to complain? If the tone of the show was set with the reductive tasteless opening number (regardless of if it was intended as parody) then the outrage should have caused people to switch off. But apparently that didn’t happen.
Seth MacFarlane appears to have brought the youngsters back to the Academy Awards: Preliminary Nielsen data shows Sunday’s Oscarcast surged 20 percent among adult viewers under 35 compared to last year’s show and delivered the best performance in that demo group since 2007 (when Ellen DeGeneres hosted). The Oscars also did better in the closely watched demo of adults under 50, gaining 11 percent year-to-year. Overall, the audience gains were a bit less impressive: ABC’s broadcast attracted 40.3 million viewers, up just 3 percent from 2012′s tally of 39.3 million viewers. Still, only one Oscars since 2005 — the 2010 show — has pulled in a bigger crowd. And in the age of DVRs, that 20 percent increase in younger viewers is no small achievement. ABC won’t release more detailed ratings, including how audience levels increased or decreased throughout the broadcast, until Tuesday. Via
So yeah. You think they are going to make changes based on ratings being UP and even better among young people? How far do you think your outrage will carry when they know you will just be back next year. Oh and that ratings quote came from Vulture who also ran a very thoughtful article about “Why Seth MacFarlane’s Misogyny Matters” It is the third most popular article on Vulture right now. The most popular? “Vulture’s Behind-the-Scenes Party Timeline of Oscar Weekend“
I am not telling you what to be offended about or not. I know how it is. I know that football is destroying the lives of grown men and college kids and high school kids and grade school kids. I know that there is lasting brain damage and the league will do nothing about it because the ratings are through the roof. That’s partly my fault because I keep watching. And this Oscars thing? That’s partly your fault. We don’t deserve anything better than we get because we keep sitting there lapping it up. And then everyone uses the outrage to get page views the next day (not me, nobody read my articles!). And everyone wrings their hands. I feel awful for supporting football. People who watch the Oscars apparently feel awful because it didn’t turn out the way they wanted. But I am saying that nobody CARES what you want. Because you keep watching. And until you stop things won’t change. So stop pretending that Seth McFarlane is the problem.
When it comes to TV, we deserve what we get. If we watch crap we get crap. If we don’t watch something, they cancel it. The Oscars and the Super Bowl are the highest rated shows of the year, every year. That’s on us, not them.
