Grading Bad – Bermuda Tentacles (2014)

Premise: Airforce One goes down in a storm and the President is ejected in some crazy escape pod that can keep him alive for two weeks. The marines attempt to rescue him from “the bottom of the ocean” but hijinx en the form of giant tube worms (which are NOT tentacles) ensue. Also General Linda…

Grading Bad- Jack the Reaper (2011)

Premise: As a teacher, who is watching these fantastic remarkable films while grading, I am not sure how to feel about the basic premise this time. The premise is that a group of ten kids who did not do their homework on the Industrial Revolution, have to complete a make-up assignment in the form of a…

Grading Bad – Megashark v. Mechashark (2013)

Premise: Someone decided that the best solution for a drought was to haul a big freaking iceberg into the Mediterranean…but, wait! NO! Inside that iceberg is a frozen Megaladon bent on world destruction. Obviously the best course of action is to ban boat and plane travel worldwide, and then build a giant robot shark to…

Grading Bad – Alice in Murderland (2012)

Editor’s Note: Amander is new.  She watches movies and SPOILS THEM!  Well, I mean she tells you what’s going to happen.  But usually the answer to that is: the movie will suck.  I am going to make her some cool badge that says spoiler but for now just be warned. WARNING!  You have been warned….

Alright, 2014. That’s Enough.

I wanted my return to the Gallery to be more upbeat, maybe with a good Ad Nauseam or something.  But, I have to have a word with 2014.  See, this year has been killing off some of my favorite entertainers at quite a clip, and I’m tired of it.  We’re only four months into the…

Welcome to Michael Bay C*ckpunching Your Childhood

If you were fortunate enough to grow up in the 1980’s, you know how completely weird awesome the cartoon icons of your childhood were.  Saturday mornings were spent in a Sugar Smacks-fueled haze of Ghostbusters, G.I. Joe, He-Man, and whatever the hell the Snorks were. Then 1987 arrived and brought us ten seasons of animated…

Odds Are, You Weren’t Really Using it Anyway

Despite having the largest collection of penises in the world, the Icelandic Phallological Museum has found itself somewhat…unfulfilled.  Housing nearly 300 disco sticks of all shapes and sizes, the museum is still missing the crown jewel for its collection: a perfect human penis.  If you can’t make it to Reykjavík, you can stay abreast of their hunt for…