Music
I’m not going to lie. I could. I could tell you that I put that old pic of Heidi Klum in the banner because today is the anniversary of when she married Seal (in 2005). But in reality I didn’t want to have to post a pic of the actual Seal because his messed up face scares me. I know it is not his fault but the poor guy looks like he bought a home Edward James Olmos kit. And honestly he had a hit song, married Heidi Klum (Heidi Klum Pics here and Heidi Klum Tongue Pics here) and even though they are divorced now they had the best Halloween costumes ever so whatever, guy.
And I bet if you were like me you thought there was ONE reason Seal had those scars but in fact there is a different one. And from the looks of it, Seal’s face is a hot topic. Look what Google says.
Jeez, Google. Have a heart. Stop showing me how horrible people are. Take those offensive ones out and just leave: “Why is seal’s face”. That’s what I would ask him if I ever met him. Hey, Seal, why is your face? Then he would hit me with a bag of money and tell me stories about dirty stuff he did to Heidi Klum. Well played, Seal. Well played.
Every Twerker in the world needs to give Wreckz N Effect a nickle per twerk. Since the whole movement seems to be based on that one…movement, they all owe a debt to the early 90s hit Rump Shaker. I can only assume that within the next few months there will be a new craze of women in bikinis playing the saxophone at the beach. Just working on a name for it. I suppose it would have to be a word that combines Bill Clinton, Clarence Clemons and Lisa Simpson. Those are the only three saxophone players I know.
Oh, and we should also note that we are talking about a song that introduced the idea of focusing one’s life by stating:
“All I wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom.” Which is all I have ever wanted to do ever since except I don’t know how to do either of those things. Oh, and they also have two kids using those white buckets for drums. Don’t get that. How expensive is a drum? Would they rather have a real drum? If not, what do they know that people with real drums are missing? This video is full of wonder….
Let me start out by saying that I believe that Van Halen is one of only two bands in the history of bands who replaced their lead singer and were just as popular after doing so. I am specifically not going to tell you who the other one is so you can talk about it in the comments. But let’s focus on the Sammy Hagar thing for now. First of all I think that he sucks. Second of all I hate this song. But the video caused quite a splash since it just named a bunch of things and claimed that they were happening “Right Now”. I never bothered to check on all of them but after rewatching the whole thing I am pretty sure that the person who invented the infographic got the idea from this video.
So, to recap. David Lee Roth > Sammy Hagar. Sammy Hagar is music’s Guy Fieri. Second, this song is terrible. And third, RIGHT NOW I just took off my pants so that when I said that it would be true.
Sooo…there you go. No pants.
Ain’t nobody got time for 90s songs tonight! I need to find out if the Boston Bombing kid is in that damn boat under the tarp! Listen, don’t listen, WHATEVS!
This pic has nothing to do with the song, but the dude who sings it is ugly so I am putting up this awesome Art Deco image from RodolForever
I am sick of songs like this. This dude is slobbering all over himself professing how much he’s in love with this chick. Or dude. I don’t know. But whoever it is the guy is making a whole big deal out of how much in love with the person he is and he sounds like a fool.
I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be love’s suicide
I’ll be better when I’m older,
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
I’m no relationship coach but I am going to go out on a limb and say if you kiss someone’s butt that much you will eventually end up eating what comes out of it. I’m not pretending you shouldn’t make your significant other feel wanted and loved, but you really should not tell them you will be the greatest fan of their life. And DEFINITELY don’t tell them you will be “love’s suicide”. Mostly because it doesn’t mean anything. Why be confusing? Here are some better things to say when you want to let your significant other know how much you care:
- The odds of me trading you in for two 18 year olds when you turn 36 are pretty low.
- I love when you finish my sentences because it means I don’t have to talk to you as much.
- I don’t tell you when I use your deodorant because I don’t want you to be grossed out.
- I’m still here, aren’t I?
I should be an advice columnist. I’m good at this. Video and lyrics after the jump.
A lot of you might not know that virtuoso actress/model/singer Taylor Momsen played Cindy Lou Who in How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Well now you do! And it must have affected her because she has been getting more and more “edgy” ever since then. And now through the magic of paparazzi and me being too lazy to write Friday Nineties you get to watch her be edgy in front of a slightly bemused Asian lady.
So enjoy these pics from Taylor’s video shoot for her new hit: “Walking Around after my Friend Played the Inky Binocular Trick on Me.”