The next generation Xbox was unveiled on Tuesday. There’s been plenty of talk about it already. I’ve spent the time since the reveal trying to figure out exactly how I feel about it, and even now I’m not entirely sure. I’ve decided to write this piece to try and sort it out, so just bear with me on this. I know what the Gallery’s bread and butter is, so if you humor me while I ramble, I’ll give you a bunch of gamer girl pictures at the end.
After the jump, I’ll go into what I feel are the pros and cons of the system. I just want to take a second to touch on two things that really don’t matter about it. First, the name. Microsoft is calling their new system the Xbox One. People are losing their minds about this, and I’m failing to see why. ”It’s a stupid name!” No, it’s not. You want to know what a stupid name would have been? The Xbox Panda Stroker. The Xbox Baby Enema. Xbox Sweaty Nipples. It really could have been worse. Another thing I’ve read is, “It’s not the first Xbox, it’s the third!” Right. So if you know that, and I know that, what’s the problem here? Were you already calling the original Xbox the Xbox One? I doubt it.
Another thing that has people all in a tizzy is how the One looks. The most popular complaint is that it looks like a VCR. So what? Did something involving VCRs traumatize you as a child? I don’t get it. It’s not a big stretch for a gaming system to be rectangle shaped. Most of them have been that shape. I could understand the uproar if they made the One to look like a cat’s butthole or something, but they didn’t. All this complaining about the name and look of the machine just strikes me as superfluous. Isn’t how the machine performs more important?
Hey! Did you see the premiere of Masterchef tonight? Did you see the fish fillet girl Jessie Lysaik? Well if you didn’t then check out her tense audition below. Tense!
Now that you see how she gets grilled on the show, check out after the jump where I expose the fact that she is an IMPOSTER!
Summer blockbuster season is about to hit, which probably explains why Bryan Singer is tweeting pictures of Jennifer Lawrence kitted out as Raven Darkholme (a.k.a. Mystique) for the latest installment of his spin on the X-Men series, X-Men: Days of Future Past. Or it could be because Jennifer looks more or less naked when she goes full mutant and, as the director, Singer can tweet these without looking like a total creeper. So does re-posting his photos (oh, and that whole Jennifer Lawrence gallery I put down there at the bottom of the post) make us creepers here on the Gallery?
Of course it does Not at all! I just thought you might like to, um, judge the before and after special effects work of the X-Men costume team! Which is why I added this video of Jennifer Lawrence getting all covered in body paint from X-Men: First Class. For research.
Jaime Chung is the hottest famous actress you’ve probably never heard of. That’s where we come in and provide a valuable public service! Allow me to fill you in. Ms Chung was born in San Francisco to Korean parents, studied economics at UC Riverside, and found herself working at a sports bar in San Diego when the casting crew for MTV’s Real World came through in 2004. She landed the gig, and unlike other cast members was able to use it as a launching pad for a successful acting career rather than a temporary cash infusion to buy booze and coke with. She appeared in Days of our Lives, CSI, and Veronica Mars, and later in movies like Sorority Row and Hangover: Part 2. She earned her nerd cred by appearing in Dragonball Evolution and lending her voice to X-Men: Destiny and the video game Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3. Just last week she had a series picked up by NBC, so it looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of her in the years to come! She’s beautiful, talented, dangerous (trained in martial arts), and at the top of her game. What more could you ask for? An incredible bikini body? She’s got that, too. The proof is in the pics. Keep an eye out for her this fall on prime time, and enjoy the gallery in the meantime!
You never really know what you’re getting when you cook up some hot dogs. Well, you know you’re getting hot dogs, but do you ever think of what kind of meat is in them? I guess it gives you the general idea on the package – beef, chicken, or pork, but it doesn’t tell you what specific parts of these animals we’re getting. That is, until now. Oscar Meyer has finally decided to let you know what you’ve been eating all these years.
Born May 16, 1986, Megan Fox is currently old enough to get a break on her car insurance, but still younger than VH1, all the Star Wars movies, and mandatory seat belt laws. So while you’re now reflecting on how terribly, terribly old you are, I’d like to kick off the Megan Fox birthday celebration in the grand Gallery birthday tradition of half-naked pictures. Here’s a little collection I like to call “Megan Fox, More or Less Without Clothes On.” Happy Birthday, Megan!
More Megan Fox on Superficial Gallery: