Male Celebrity Pictures
Remember the other day when I said it might be worth getting knocked up just to justify buying a cool batman car seat? I take it back.
Sometimes, an idea seems good at the time, then later you wonder what the heck you could have been thinking. You with me on this one, Kanye?
I’ll just take that as a yes.
If anyone doesn’t like Kanye West for any reason, especially anyone who is still mad about what he did to Taylor Swift, his face in these pics are your revenge.
You have been a hero of mine since Beetlejuice. You were funny then and for some reason it took like, 20 years for people to remember that. Sorry you dropped the ball on the whole Jack Ryan franchise but props for all the Saturday Night Live greatness and being on 30 Rock.
And I realize this sounds like a eulogy but it isn’t. It is a setup for me thanking you for being a snarling, stomping monster in NYC while walking two little foo foo dogs in the pic beow. I wish I could meet you. I would even try to take a picture of you so you could go all Sean Penn on me. Dreamy.
I didn’t watch the Golden Globes. I don’t watch awards shows very often because I am not invested enough in whatever the awards are for to really root for something. I wanted the second Batman movie to win and they changed the rules for Best Picture at the Oscars because of it but it didn’t win. I think the last time I watched before that was when Clint Eastwoon won for Unforgiven and that was like, 30 years ago.
So why do I care now? Because of that picture up there. I don’t care how fancy Ben Affleck is now or how many kids he has with Jennifer Garner (12) or what a good director he is. Dude made what many people think was the best movie of the year and yet they put him next to Sofia Vergara for two minutes and he is reduced to doing some sort of doofusy jig. I am not sure what kind of power this chick has, but I am pretty sure she could make The Dali Lama do that AAOOOHGAH thing with his eyeballs and hit himself on the head with a cartoon hammer.
So there you have it: big fancy stars acting like idiots. They’re just like us! Except they aren’t because they never have to pay for anything and their job is to get us to pay them to lie to us. Sigh.
Earlier today in a place not cold enough to warrant boots like that, Russell Brand and his partner Frosty robbed what appears to be a plastic bag and various loose papers store. Brandishing his mighty trident, Brand probably threatened the poor shop keep while the snowman leered menacingly. He would have been able to do more but his tiny arms were more useless than Cee Lo Green’s.
Seriously look at him. Everything he is wearing probably costs more than my couch but it is all stuck together like a kid playing dress up. Combining expensive things doesn’t make them better, Russell Brand. You can’t cut out the Mona Lisa’s face and glue it onto the statue of David and make it twice as arty! Stupid rich wizard.
P.S. If you don’t make at least one movie a year you aren’t famous.
Whether you love it or hate it (and you should love it), American Psycho is the first movie in which I can recall seeing Justin Theroux. I was reminded of him again this weekend when I watched him in Wanderlust with his soon-to-be wife. He’s one of only a few men I’ve seen who can pull off the dirty hippie look and still manage to be attractive.
He also manages to get away with creepy, slicked-back vampire hair without looking, well, super creepy. I have even found it in my heart to forgive him for occasionally dressing like a goofy hipster. Although he may be planning his wedding to Jennifer Aniston, I see no reason that the rest of us shouldn’t enjoy him a little while longer.
