TV
In the novels: Sansa has an inner monologue demonstrating she’s not just a silly twit. Samwell is on the Fist of the First Men during the White Walker attack and does release the ravens. Tywin Lannister visits Tyrion many times when he’s unconscious Melisandre never goes to the Riverlands, never meets Thoros and doesn’t take Gendry captive. Loras is already in the Kingsguard so he can’t marry anyone. Tyrion never makes nice with his sister or confronts her about Mandon Moore (it is in fact still unknown who sent Mandon Moore). Neither Catelyn or Robb Stark ever go to Harrenhal. Sandor Clegane doesn’t laugh like a maniac when burned but regresses to a child of six. Above all, Orell can’t cut the rope to which Jon and Ygritte are clinging because Jon already killed him in A Clash of Kings. There are pages and pages devoted to differences between the books and TV. I love it since it’s a book geek heaven, but George R.R. Martin wants you to know that he wrote the story so he gets to decide who plays in the Westeros sandbox.
“I remember reading [Dany planning to give up Drogon to the slaver] and thinking, ‘Oh, this is kind of disappointing.’ When the real plan was revealed I think I even called [Weiss]. This was before we had met with George, when we were still trying to figure out if this show was possible. The culmination of that scene was one of those moments when we were like, ‘We got to make this f–king show.’ It was very gratifying seeing that wish fulfilled … I think it will be one of the most staggering things ever put on television.”
I imagine a little ceremony with a dagger and bloodied fingers dripping on a skull when George whispered the secrets of Ice and Fire to writer-producers David Benioff and Dan Weiss. Martin is very protective of his creative copyright, he’s a strong opponent of fan fiction, but Benioff and Weiss are part of the omertà now. The truth is, George is an experienced TV writer and producer. After his fourth book (Armageddon Rag) tanked he worked on the Twilight Zone revival, Max Headroom, and Beauty and the Beast. Part of his decision to impart super secret plot points to Benioff and Weiss was based on how he felt the ending of Lost was bungled. He likes the HBO producers of Game of Thrones and is constantly defending them on his “Not a blog.” Even with all the fame and subsequent pressure on him, he has a working process and adamantly refuses to work exclusively on Game of Thrones. The result is, with six year gaps between novels, another whole group of fans is going to be eventually posting “Well that’s different than the TV version” meaning the show has more authority. George won’t care, others may come and go, but only the Longshoreman’s Son has ever completely ruled the Iron Throne.
It has always been my opinion that one of the hardest challenges an actor will ever face is to soliloquize while naked in a bath. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime) had his opportunity in this episode. He was so good with the delerious revelation of why he had to kill Mad King Aerys that I forgot the NPM count and you all know I’m a big fan of Gwen Christie (Brienne)
“The traitors want my city…. but I’ll give them naught but ashes. Let Robert be king over charred bones and cooked meat”. – Aerys the Mad
Aerys, the last Targaryen to sit on the Iron Throne, went all Howard Hughes with foot long fingernails, long scraggly hair and deluxe version paranoia. His faithful Mormon bodyguards…excuse me the Kingsguard, enabled the insanity. They tolerated a king that couldn’t get sexually aroused except when someone was burning and incidents like when Aerys ripped out Ser Ilyn Payne’s tongue with hot pincers for suggesting that Tywin Lanister truely ruled the Kingdom. It fell to the last remaining honorable Kingsguard, Jaime Lannister, to save half a million people from the funeral pyre of a madman. Von Stauffenberg should have done as well Jaime.
This past week the United States Ambassador to Australia felt the need to threaten the citizens of that nation after it was revealed that they pirate Game of Thrones more than anyone else. Ambassador Bleich should get a subscription to Superficial Gallery since we’ve already explained why HBO forces people into becoming pirates and we also have Cersei (Queen Marmalade) in a bikini. Author George R.R. Martin is also on record this week advocating sending the General Manager of the Jets to the Night’s Watch for trading Darelle Revis to the Buccaneers. In a twist on Rule 34 I decided to look if anyone had compared the Boston bombings to Game of Thrones. Wired answered with a well thought out article comparing the interrogation of the bombing suspect with that of Theon Greyjoy.
Varys the Spider would undoubtedly smile knowingly at the CIA prevarication “mechanism of abuse.” I doubt he spends any time worrying about whether his manipulations are “clean” but real interrogators very much like him will soon be unleashed on Dzokhar Tsarnaev. Those of us who are howling for knives under his fingernails would be well schooled by the breaking of Theon Greyjoy. Even the sadistic Bolton clan with their bloody little hobbies know that it’s not the “dirty” interrogation but the psychological methods that are the most effective.
Author Terry Pratchett has a theory about who is the most dangerous character in a fantasy epic. In a world where insane risks and life-or-or death gambles are relatively routine only those very good at not dying get to be old. Lady Olenna is by far the most dangerous player in the Game of Thrones but tea and lemon cakes just aren’t the same as a rousing sword battle on the TV screen.
I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL! – Arlo Guthrie, Alice’s Restaurant
Action is back in the Game of Thrones. Big hairy men with swords hack at each other, rape whatever’s available, then merrily sing the Bear and the Maiden Fair. I’m a hardened viewer and even I was cringing a couple of times watching this episode. By the time Hold Steady broke out over the credits with their cover version of the Bear and the Maiden Fair I was thinking that not even the most jaded Frat boy could still be saying Season Three was boring
Since tonight is Game of Thrones night I thought it might be nice to give Princess Peach a night off and do a post on Lena Headey who plays Queen Marmalade or whatever. Her son is a cruel little weirdo and considering he is an incest baby (she boinks her brother for some reason) it is mostly her fault so it is really no wonder that she is so crabby all the time. But not as crabby as Eva was when she was helping me find pics. It seems Ms. Headey is allergic to bathing suits.
Seriously. We have naked, vinyl and underwear in the gallery below and a tank top in the banner, but apparently when she goes to be beach she only wears dresses and pantsuits and stuff. Weird. I mean, she is still hot, but I am not sure I can trust someone who won’t wear a garment that comes with built in underwear. Plus if she wanted to date me I would have to find out if she had a hot brother in real life. I’m very suspicious now….
According to Sally Kempton, the socialite turned swami: “Women are natural guerrillas. Scheming we nestle into the enemy’s bed, avoiding open warfare, watching the options, playing the odds.” Sally has a lot more to say about the limitations of traditional feminine mystique, but we’re talking about a show that Saturday Night Live has parodied by claiming there is a fourteen year old creative consultant who knows any scene can be improved by adding boobs.
According to director Neil Marshall, there is actually a real-life figure very similar to the fictional “Adam Friedberg”. There is a single, specific HBO executive (although Marshall declined to name who) who actively urged him to add in as much full-frontal nudity as possible.
Arguments about feminism aside, this second episode of season three entitled Dark Wings, Dark Words is all about the women of Westeros. Well the women that manage to keep their dresses on that is. The HBO boob consultant must have been on vacation during the filming of this episode for we get more Lion in Winter than Porky’s Roadhouse. Dame Dianna Rigg doesn’t even have to take her top off to captivate us with her portrayal of the Queen of Thorns, Lady Olenna, matriarch of the House Tyrell.