Friday Nineties – blink-182 – All The Small Things

Categories:Friday 90s, LOLZ, Music, Video
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Acadia Einstein
Quick!  Watch this 182 times right away!

Quick! Watch this 182 times right away!

I know blink-182 are a bunch of goofballs but I am really afraid that people will forget that and take this song seriously.  Don’t fall into the “small things” trap.  Sure, leaving roses by the stairs might sound like a great idea, but how many times can you do that before it becomes a thing?

Do you have any idea how many little things become big things?  Fools going to the Ivory Coast once a year to find a shell that matches the one they gave their S.O. that one time?  Underwear ruts.  Getting stuck watching It’s a Wonderful Life every GD Christmas because it’s a “tradition” now.  ALL TERRIBLE!

You want to prove your love and interest to someone?  Propose something big.  Big and preferably something that will NOT be accepted.  Here’s a list to get you going:

  • Offer matching face tattoos
  • Suggest a tontine involving all your immediate family
  • Buy the exact same outfit for each of you and say:  “get dressed, our reservation is at nine!”
  • Anniversary horse

Big grand gestures always go over the best and getting credit for suggesting things without having to really do them is the best.  Once a girl offered to watch every football game I wanted to watch with me.  “You can teach me what to look for,” she said.  Genius.  No way was I going to have her sitting around asking me a bunch of question so I politely declined.  But the next time she wanted me to watch some crappy movie I had no escape.  I had been Rom Conned.

So to recap, small things should not become a habit.  Grand impossible gestures are the way to go.  You better listen to me or you will be stuck going out for “special coffee” every Sunday morning for the rest of your life.  YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Author:
I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on Smashwords.com) and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Six years and counting....

14 Comments

  1. Nico Toscani
    Nico ToscaniReply
    December 28, 2012 at 7:49 pm

    Women always say it’s the small things until they want a big thing.

  2. Acadia
    December 28, 2012 at 8:08 pm

    Horses are big.

  3. angie potter
    angie potterReply
    December 28, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    And this is how I got stuck playing Storage Wars…

  4. Stacy
    StacyReply
    December 28, 2012 at 8:36 pm

    Suck my small things!!

    • Acadia
      December 28, 2012 at 8:39 pm

      Make your name a link to your sex recipe site!

  5. Dan Brill
    Dan BrillReply
    December 28, 2012 at 8:44 pm

    You make a good point. I will offer my wife a baboon servant and see if she accepts my generosity.

    Also my band plays this.

    • Acadia
      December 28, 2012 at 8:47 pm

      Baboon servant is good.

  6. elssar
    December 28, 2012 at 8:49 pm

    Small diamond vs a huge amount of sand.

    I rest my case.

  7. Stacy
    StacyReply
    December 28, 2012 at 9:29 pm

    I commented before I knew I was supposed to be all serious and business like…….anyhoo, oh forget it! All the small things just takes my straight to guttersville

    • angie potter
      angie potterReply
      December 29, 2012 at 12:33 am

      I would give your first comment a 10 if I could rank it.

  8. Acadia
    December 29, 2012 at 12:13 am

    <3

  9. Dydan Waters
    December 29, 2012 at 10:28 am

    A baboon servant is all well and good. Until it starts with the poo-flinging.

  10. Eva Halloween
    December 29, 2012 at 11:17 pm

    That’s what you get for dating a girl who needs football explained to her.

    • Acadia
      December 31, 2012 at 11:42 am

      Don’t judge me!

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