blink-182 – All The Small Things
I know blink-182 are a bunch of goofballs but I am really afraid that people will forget that and take this song seriously. Don’t fall into the “small things” trap. Sure, leaving roses by the stairs might sound like a great idea, but how many times can you do that before it becomes a thing?
Do you have any idea how many little things become big things? Fools going to the Ivory Coast once a year to find a shell that matches the one they gave their S.O. that one time? Underwear ruts. Getting stuck watching It’s a Wonderful Life every GD Christmas because it’s a “tradition” now. ALL TERRIBLE!
You want to prove your love and interest to someone? Propose something big. Big and preferably something that will NOT be accepted. Here’s a list to get you going:
- Offer matching face tattoos
- Suggest a tontine involving all your immediate family
- Buy the exact same outfit for each of you and say: “get dressed, our reservation is at nine!”
- Anniversary horse
Big grand gestures always go over the best and getting credit for suggesting things without having to really do them is the best. Once a girl offered to watch every football game I wanted to watch with me. “You can teach me what to look for,” she said. Genius. No way was I going to have her sitting around asking me a bunch of question so I politely declined. But the next time she wanted me to watch some crappy movie I had no escape. I had been Rom Conned.
So to recap, small things should not become a habit. Grand impossible gestures are the way to go. You better listen to me or you will be stuck going out for “special coffee” every Sunday morning for the rest of your life. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!