Pats Win! I Ate Too Many Things!

Acadia Einstein

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We won.  I freaked out the whole time and when Kearse caught that ball I had decided that god didn't want the Pats to win.  But in reality he just wanted me to be able to watch Richard Sherman's sad sad face when Butler picked off that pass.



Then the dumb penalty that got the Pats out of the end zone.  Then the dumber fight.  Then giving Tom Brady the MVP even though he threw two picks.  Then me realizing that at some point during the second half I ate four cheeseburgers and like, 400 wings that I COOKED!  I don't remember cooking them.  Maybe I didn't.  But in about an hour if I barf from poisoning myself and latent nerves I'll know for sure.

Hey, come to think of it, why didn't they let Edelman be the MVP?  TOO JEWISH, MAYBE?  Maybe NFL actually stands for Nazis For Life....

Oh, and hey:

  • Brady now owns the record for most Super Bowl TD Passes (12)
  • He is tied with Joe Montana for winning the most Super Bowl MVP's (3)
  • Tied for winning the most Super Bowls with Montana and Bradshaw (4)
  • They won this one by FOUR!  That is a 33% improvement over their other three victories.
  • Their total victory margins = 13 points.  They lost their first by 36 points.

And what was up with Nationwide having a ghost in their commercial?  I mean, they played it like the kid was going to be nice and whatnot, but that kid could have grown up to join Isis.  Don't mess with fate, Nationwide.  Let the dead rest.

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Oh, and screw you, NBC.  No way am I watching The Black List.

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I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Six years and counting....

One Comment

  1. Sangfroid
    February 2, 2015 at 12:06 am

    You had cheeseburgers and wings and didn’t invite me?


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