Save your art. Just ask the kids first!

Sangfroid
depptattoo

Johnny Depp’s version of estate planning. Winona Rider will not be getting the one that says “Wine Forever” now.

Johnny Depp originally wanted his body tossed off the side of a mountain so the spectators at his funeral could watch it bounce.  Someone must have talked him out of that since he’s planning to leave his body art to his children now.

“No. That’s not at all serial killer. That’s totally cool. Can you imagine? ‘What are those?’ ‘Oh that’s my dad’s tattoos all over that wall.’ “ Johnny Depp

wtf

We’re going to hang this on the wall of your bedroom sweetie.

No this isn’t the Onion and you can actually have your ink preserved for posterity now. Whether or not your kids are going to want that lampshade with the Mexican Senorita you got in Tijuana on a drunk shore leave is another question entirely.

Save My Ink is dedicated to saving your skin art. The tattoo is shaved off the deceased art lover by the embalmer who has been sent a special kit (No face or genital art. We have standards!) and then put through a chemical bath and enzymatic process to permanently alter the structure  of the skin and stop it from decaying. So far they’ve preserved 21 tattoos in the United States.

“When I was getting more tattoo work completed on my back piece, a $10,000 investment, I began considering  all of the money and time I had put into my tattoos.” Charles Hamm founder of National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art

This process was perfected when Skin Art founder Charles Hamm decided to practice on bits of his own skin removed during plastic surgery. He had the surgeon mark where the procedure would take place and had tattoos put on those spots.

“You would never burn a Picasso or any piece of art you invested in and had a passion for. Your tattoo is also art with a unique story, just on a different canvas.” Charles Hamm

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Hamm maintains a gallery of preserved tattoos on the National Association for the Preservation of Skin Art web site.  If you’re interested the process is only available to members. There is a registration fee of $115 and annual fees of $60 for every tattoo that you want saved. Be sure to tell your relatives. There’s only 18 hours after you die to inform Save My Ink. They have to mail a removal kit with instructions to the funeral home. Then six to eight months later the grandkids get to argue about the “art.”

Kim Davis has yet to make a ruling on whether god approves of tattoos. 

Author:
Sangfroid's unabashed use of punctuation and grammar has made him a literary standout on the internet. A rising star in the urban/romance/horror/science fiction/Nancy Drew fiction market, Sangfroid is the talk of the local McDonald's. His dog actually ate the first page of his magnum opus "That Foggy Night" and compared it to other great works like the weekly circular for its absorbent qualities.

2 Comments

  1. Cider
    CiderReply
    September 24, 2015 at 11:41 am

    I propose all gallery staff get tattoos of a luchador mask and post them here.

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