Sci-Fi Original Movies – How Hard Can It Be?

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Acadia Einstein

bats-3

I know you all probably watch the Sci-Fi Channel once in a while.  I used to think I did, too.  But now I realize I watch it a lot.  A lot.  And not just Balltestar Galactica (ohhh Boomer).  Or Ghost Hunters (ohhh why don't you wear cameras on your heads you assholes).  Or Estate of Panic (ohhh girl with big boobs who lost in the finals).

No, I watch Sci-Fi Original Movies.  Now, mind you, I only watch the sword and wizard ones.  But they really have something for everyone.  See that pic up there?  That's from: Bats: Human Harvest.  I am so gonna use that pic for the Batcave somehow.  But anyway.  The tagline for this move was:

NATURE MADE THEM PREDATORS.  SCIENCE MADE THEM KILLERS.  A MADMAN MADE THEM AN ARMY.

How hard could it have been to come up with the plot around that tagline?  I mean, I think they all sit around a table thinking up taglines and then make a movie about them.  Those sentences don't even need to apply to bats.  It could be wolves or barravudas or eagles.  But nope.  THey did bats.

I think Sci-Fi movies are like porn (except with CGI).  Make as many as possible, and keep moving from place to place so the cops can't shut you down.  In fact, I think it is so easy that we can all do it.  So this is a two part challenge.  First, to see if you have what it takes, pick out the FAKE movie title from this list.  All but one are guaranteed original Sci-Fi movies.

  1. Frankenfish
  2. Bone Eater
  3. Man With the Screaming Brain
  4. Hell Tub
  5. Mansquito

Now, if you got that right, then start coming up with a movie in the comments.  You can contribute a name (use lots of colons, it's cooler that way), a tagline (i.e. This time, the Indians have cannons.) or a cast member with their part (and David Ogden Stiers as The Prussian Alchemist).  Actually, even if you got it wrong you can still play.  If there are enough good elements, then we can pitch it to Sci-Fi and split the money.  I figure $75.00 split 10 ways makes for a good Christmas.

Go!

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I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on Smashwords.com) and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Six years and counting....

3 Comments

  1. joe schmoe
    joe schmoeReply
    December 19, 2008 at 8:24 pm

    i think hell tub sounds like a good premise--college co eds on spring break and each time they cum in the hot tub, a limb is severed. and they lose their bikini tops of course

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  2. Acadia
    December 20, 2008 at 7:53 am

    This will work cause you spelled it ‘cum’.

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  3. jeannie
    jeannieReply
    December 20, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    I think there needs to be something about the sex is so awesome they cant leave the tub?

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