Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Cider

Spoilers, obviously. So stop reading if you haven’t seen the movie and you care about spoilers. And if you can’t stop yourself then don’t blame me, you’ve been warned.

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OK. So first of all I’ll start off by saying I’m an unabashed fan of the original trilogy. I’m not a lunatic, I don’t consider it oscar-worthy, nor do I  have deep feelings about it that affect the very core of my soul. But have I seen all of them roughly 300 times? Yes. Can I quote many parts line for line? Yes. Do my brothers and I have an inside joke about going to Tosche Station to pick up power converters? Yes.

Related – do I hate the prequels, Episodes I-III? Pretty much, yes. Though I am due to write more posts about all of them so I won’t go on for too long. The first one is plain terrible and my problems with the other two mostly center around over-use of CG.

So, what about Episode VII? Is it good? Does it live up to the originals? Pretty much, yes. I’d have to watch it another 100 times before I could say if I feel the same about it as I do about Empire, which is the best of the original three, but it was in the league. The story is good, I am a sucker for and loved all the parallels to the original trilogy, the acting was good, and of course I love seeing Han, Chewie, Leia, Luke, C3PO, and R2D2.

First, here are the parallels that I notice upon one watching, though I bet there are many I’m forgetting or didn’t catch.

  • Rey riding her speeder through the desert = Luke riding his speeder through the desert.
  • The crew going into the bar full of weird characters on whatever planet that was = Mos Eisley Cantina.
  • Rey stumbling into weird visions in the basement of said bar = Luke having weird visions in the cave on Dagobah.
  • Finn wanting to protect a lady who needs no protection = Luke wanting to rescue Leia.
  • Luke losing Kylo-Ren (Ben) to the dark side = Obi-Wan losing Annakin to the dark side.
  • I surmise though it’s not firmly established, that Rey being abandoned on a desert planet for her own good = Luke being abandoned on a desert planet for his own good = she’s a Skywalker.

In fact I already need a re-watch because I’m sure I’ve missed some major ones in that list.

OK, on to things I didn’t like or have a problem with.

  • Kylo-Ren praying to a melted Darth Vader mask. If he knows the full story, as I’m sure he does, because he grew up with Han, Leia, and Luke, then he knows that in the end Vader willingly turned back to the light side of the force. Why would be praying to Darth Vader as some epitome of darkness to help him overcome his struggle with “the light side”?
  • Kylo-Ren’s light saber. Why the stupid cross-bar things? Just someone got bored with regular light sabers? I heard so many theories before the movie, like oh it’s bad because it was like some hacked together version someone made in the woods or something (based on scenes from trailers). But nope, apparently he’s highly trained. He just decided it would be cool to have beams of energy inches from his hands. Good idea.
  • Rey kicking Kylo-Ren’s a$$ in a light saber battle. She may be very strong with the force, but even Luke the amazing needed training, right? Didn’t we learn that in Episode IV? I mean, is she the most amazing jedi ever to live?

And things I found hilariously perfect:

  • The guy playing Kylo-Ren is that awful guy with all the hats from “While We’re Young“. Actually perfect casting because that guy is the worst.
  • Han being offended that Rey learned that his ship made the Kessel Run in 14 parsecs when it was 12.
  • Basically everything that happened with Han and Chewie and Finn and Rey.
  • Carrie Fisher.

I went a little bit nuts and went to see this at 1:50am on Thursday night/Friday morning December 17-18. There was a guy there in Star Wars onesie pajamas. The crowd was 98% guys. I felt like a real novelty.

If you love or even like the original movies, I don’t think this one will disappoint. It’s well done and now I’m already feeling sad that I have to wait for the next one.

What do you think? Comments below please!

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I'm the President of Not Helping Acadia at this site, as well as Editor-in-Chief because none of these monkeys whacking on keyboards can spell. My username has now been explained, you're welcome. If you don't like me I don't care. Become a writer for the site and post your own garbage then, you plebe.

5 Comments

  1. nbartolo71
    nbartolo71Reply
    December 22, 2015 at 1:59 pm

    ERMAHGERD! SPERLERS!

    • Cider
      CiderReply
      December 22, 2015 at 2:29 pm

      Lol.

  2. Acadia Einstein
    December 23, 2015 at 7:23 am

    Darth Snape was played by Marilyn Manson. I do not see why they needed to just remake Star Wars with new people. Why the fuck did it need to be a ball? And why was it EASIER to blow up than the Death Star? Seriously. Make it a stick. Or maybe figure out a way to manage your Empire without blowing up all the planets you are supposed to be taking over.

    The new heroes are great. Did they make Threepio have a red arm just so they could sell red arm toys?

    They didn’t need to copy the original so closely. Pissed me off.

    • Cider
      December 23, 2015 at 9:40 am

      1. No, it’s Adam Driver.
      2. You’re dumb.
      3. I agree about the death star thing. Think of a new idea, Empire or whatever you’re called now. You’re doing it wrong.
      4. Probably, about Threepio’s arm.
      5. I disagree about following the original. They didn’t really THAT closely, but the scenes that were parallels were great I thought. Whatever, go pet your cat or something.

  3. Bigscrod wants cake
    December 30, 2015 at 9:41 pm

    Finally went to see it today. Among lots of other thoughts, do you really think that his parents allowed Ben to know the whole story about Darth Vader? Certainly Uncle Luke wasn’t going to tell him shit about what happened in the past. Just like Obi Wan did to him. And everything else seemed to be shrouded in rumor and myth. Just waiting for him to lose his hand.

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.