Put it Back in Your Mouth, Miley

Eva Halloween

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Earlier this year, macroglossic media mainstay Miley Cyrus was voted #1 in Maxim's 2013 Hot 100 list, thanks in no small part to a fetish for showing off her freakishly large tongue.  However, Miley is afraid that you might not have seen it yet.  At least, that's what I took away from her new video, where she makes sure you know she has both a tongue AND an ass (and, apparently, access to autotune), all of which are prominently featured.  I will consider it self defense if you turn your speakers off before you hit play.

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12 Comments

  1. Don Quikaung
    Don QuikaungReply
    July 17, 2013 at 12:09 pm

    Two things struck me (besides her tongue) when I watched this.
    1. It is extremely unhygienic to eat money. Hooker ass sweat and blow can not be good for a digestive system.
    2. If this trend continues, it won’t be long before she does porn. *Crosses fingers*

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    • Acadia
      July 20, 2013 at 11:00 am

      I spent like, two minutes trying to think of a good porn name for her and I got nothing.

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      • Eva Halloween
        July 21, 2013 at 11:40 am

        Too bad “Cyrus the Virus” is already taken.

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    • Eva Halloween
      July 21, 2013 at 12:11 pm

      My plan is working perfectly.

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      • Acadia
        July 21, 2013 at 12:25 pm

        You just have plans because you know I don’t have any. One-upper!

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  2. hoodchick
    hoodchickReply
    July 20, 2013 at 10:11 am

    The whole thing comes off so contrived. Like an uncool kid trying desperately to be liked.

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    • Acadia
      July 20, 2013 at 11:01 am

      I want to know why she keeps sticking it out to the site instead of straight out. Did she have a stroke?

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    • Eva Halloween
      July 21, 2013 at 11:43 am

      She’s totes edgy.

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  3. Jenn Martinelli
    Jenn MartinelliReply
    July 20, 2013 at 6:29 pm

    I can’t even. I mean. What?

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    • Eva Halloween
      July 21, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      I would weep for our youth, but I don’t actually care enough.

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  4. motavis
    December 19, 2013 at 9:01 pm

    So Hawt 🙂

    #forgetthehaters

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