Britney Spears
Well, it’s the end of a year and the beginning of another. Time for me to take stock of the year that was here at the Gallery and then ridicule it mercilessly. If you’d like to see how things shook out in 2010 or 2011, just click those links. Holy crap, I’ve been here for 3 years?! Most people come here, write a post or two, then disappear into the abyss never to be seen again. Speaking of which, those new writers I mentioned in last year’s post? Yeah, didn’t last. Shocker, I know. On the flipside, we did gain two new writers this year, Eva Halloween and Princess Peach. They’ve been around for most of the year so I’d wager all the money that Acadia doesn’t pay me that they stick around.
The site layout is new. Acadia decided to mix it up a little and also changed the header pic. Then he stripped the mine down to the bare essentials, which in this case means he took out the pictures that no one ever looked at and were just taking up bandwith. When all was said and done, he ended up getting rid of more pictures than he kept.
Overall, the Gallery built on the success of last year and managed even more hits this year than 2011. The contests we ran this year (Halloween Costume Contest & Picture Perfect and the February Picture Perfect) were also very successful. I think the best thing to come out of either of those contests was this picture:
Looks like that’s all the yearly news. Guess it’s time to get down to business then. As usual I’ve got two top 10 lists here, one for multiple picture posts and one for single posts. The reason for doing it like this is that on multiple picture posts, it counts each picture view as a hit. That makes it a little hard to compare it to stuff with all it’s content on one page. I should also mention that these are all posts made in the year of 2012. There were some posts made in previous years that managed to still get tons of hits this year, such as this Kate Beckinsale Bikini Sunday post from 2011 that managed way more hits than anything else this year. Of course, the all time heavyweight champion of Superficial Gallery is still Ice Road Trucker Girl Lisa Kelly. But I digress. Hit the jump for lists.
See that picture up there? That’s Britney Spears. She takes one pic of herself in a bikini where she doesn’t look like Danny Devito and the whole internet goes foolish. Take another look at the pic. Her stupid kids are blocking her and it’s all blurry. Actually it doesn’t even really look like her. I might have stumbled onto some kind of conspiracy.
Real or not, though, the pic does illustrate what having kids does to chicks whose job it is to look sexy. Lowers the bar. Wayyy down. My proof is this week’s song. You might not realize it, but “…Baby One More Time” is from 1999. And that makes it fair game. And it should also make everyone look at her in the video and then look at her ridiculous unsexy antics over the past 5 years or so and get really mad. And don’t for ONE SECOND start yapping to me about how “it’s natural” and “everyone is sexy”. No, everyone isn’t. And Britney Spears used to be but squirting out kids, smoking and doing whippets with full cans of whipped cream ruined it. And now we can just look at her dancing around all skinny and whatnot in the video that made her famous and then run to Wikipedia quick and see how old she was when she made it. I personally didn’t because I am a rebel. Or a perv. Whatever.
So remember. The reason it is ok to be mad that Britney Spears is not hot anymore is the same reason why we don’t go watch skinny people box or car races where all the drivers are old. Actually, old people car racing might be cool. Let’s do a Kickstarter!
It’s that time again. The time in which I give all the best posts of the year the Statler and Waldorf treatment. Unless they were mine, of course. We had some interesting things happen this year. Vange, who was the co-founder of this site along with Acadia, has sadly moved on to other things. We also got hit with some nasty malware or something, and it about killed the site. That’s what Acadia gets for hiring Paul Blart as security for the site. Then Acadia scored a sweet deal with an ad company that would have brought in some cash. So, it’s only natural that we would end up getting dropped by the ad company due to a snag in the mine.
Not all the stories from this year are bad. Speaking of the mine, it’s been redesigned. Give it a look and let us know what you think. Additionally, I’m pretty sure this was the most successful year the Gallery has ever had. StumbleUpon became our best friend and sent a ton of hits our way. Thank you to all who stumbled us. Keep it up and there may be some loot in it for you in the future. Or an erotic fiction story from Acadia.
We have two new awesome writers. Cramsey and Wood Rabbit. Since they just joined us in December, they didn’t make either of the top 10 lists, but you can be sure you’ll be seeing them on 2012′s list. If they decide to stick around, that is.
I guess it’s time to get down to business. If you don’t remember how I did it last year, I made two lists, one for multiple picture posts and one for single posts. The reason for doing it like this is that on multiple picture posts, it counts each picture view as a hit. That makes it a little hard to compare it to stuff with all it’s content on one page. OK, hit the jump and we’ll get started with the lists!
Remember when Britney Spears was young, and hot, and untainted and thinking about her taint wasn’t odd? You know, before she went batshit, shaved her head, flashed her business everywhere? We miss that Brit, that uncomplicated jailbait airhead. The batshit one was good for tabloids and voyeurism, but it was sad and intrusive and I didn’t care for it. We gathered up a retrospective collection of the Britney Spears we miss. You can go enjoy now. Pervs.
Pix after the jump
The latest is that Britney Spears had…wait for it…her cigarettes out while watching her children. I mean come on, who really gives a shit? How many smokers smoke around their kids and do they get front page stories? Sure, this girl is a trainwreck but she seems to be turning things around and now this comes out. I think that now the paparazzi is really reaching. How many kids have touched a pack of cigarettes or a lighter that was laying around? I can guaran-damn-tee you that it’s quite a few. Seriously, I think people should lay off of the small stuff. It’s not like she had a crack pipe on the table. Seriously!