Chezcadia usually runs like a well oiled machine. All the things I pay attention to look really great and the crap that people can’t see (like the crawlspace and this weird mound of dirt that was there when I bought the place) are a total shambles. But this morning when I went out to “balance my chemicals” at the pool and found that the pump was turned off. So I flipped the breaker and the pump made a sound like… well, can you imagine what it would sound like if a robot had awkward sex with a piece of farm equipment? It sounded like that.
So now I have to fart around trying to figure out who to trust because as soon as I need any work done I think about those frigging shows on MSNBC that show baby sitters hitting kids with spoons and maids stealing jewelry and assume anyone I hire is going to screw me. Not really sure how someone could steal a pool but still.
So instead of working on the site I need to go outside *rolls eyes* and since I don’t want you to be without things to read on the Internet, here’s some links!
- How to Replace Your Pool Pump in 55 steps. – Check this out if you want to see what I WON’T be doing myself. Wtf. I am sure I could, but why would I? There are some things I would never pay someone to do and other things I would ONLY pay people to do. Oil Change? Hello Jiffy Lube. If my car blows up because there is no oil in it, I need someone to blame. But cutting down trees and crap like that? All me. So have fun reading the steps and figuring out when you would quit.
- TGNP.ME – Christy Ramsey’s site is great for people who want to get a good laugh every three months or so. Maybe if you go over there and complain she will write more.
- The Year of Halloween – If you want to subscribe to a site that gives you constant new stuff that you would NEVER find on your own, head to Eva Halloween’s site. She puts so much effort into her posts and is so creative she is like a… like a… like the opposite of me.
- Thai One On with Stacy – Wanna learn to make some Thai food? Well Stacy Frazer’s site has your hookup. Plus she says things that all sound vaguely dirty like: “Coconut AND lime, springtime for your mouth!” and the food pics are great so it is a double win.
- Dydan dot net – Personal stories and witchcraft. Or fortune telling. I’m sort of scared to delve too deeply into it because I remember that movie Witchboard but Dydan Waters is good people and you need to check her out.
- Thrifty Ninja – My friend Amber has been doing this a long time and if you want to win free stuff (full disclosure, it is like, household stuff mostly, not cars or helicopters) and find out all sorts of tips and stuff, she does like 14 posts a day. Plus she got to interview Mila Kunis *swoons*.
- Joboo (I ask Joboo to come. Take FEAR from bats.) – Just in case you though the only people I know are chicks, my friend Joboo wrote a great article on what the Aaron Hernandez arrest might look like. And if you don’t know what that means, go back to your quilting bee, Agnes!
Bye suckers. I have things to do. Hiring people is a lot of work. *sips tea and turns up air conditioning*.
- Hulk like pictures of Kelly Brook in underwear. Hulk only human.
- Jennifer Grey talk about how Dirty Dancing 25 years and one nose ago.
- Some fonts make you believe what you read. ALSO CAPS MAKE YOU READ YELLING!
- Al Roker make face and it stay that way. Hulk now scared.
- Hulk like tumblrs that only about one thing. This one about stupid Todd Akin.
- Make your own cheap things to hang on wall if you poor and want to seem like artist.
Hulk also wanted to give you some links this week. Happy clicking!
- ‘Raiders of Lost Ark’ get imax release. Screen big. Hulk watch.
- These companies bad. Hulk smash.
- Google tell what states boring and racist. Hulk agree.
- Get free graphics for infographics here. Hulk want pretty picture with dubious facts!
- Taylor Swift write songs about all old boyfriends. Hulk not interested in squinty warbler.
I don’t have time to do a post today. I’m very busy and important. So here are some things you can click.
- Podcaturday – new show today.
- A special A cup through D cup cheat tournament on G+. You can get there just in time for the final 8!
- Go the Gallery Facebook page. Or I will sell it to you. I don’t know what to do with it.
- New look for the racist tumblr!
From now on, since I’m pretty lazy, I’m going to just post links to other sites on Saturdays. And since I am REALLY lazy, I am going to let other people pick the links I post. So from now on, whatever you want me to post for the next week, tell me in the comments. NO DIRTY THINGS you animals. I run a respectable shop here. Just post the URL and a description of whatever the site is. And if it is stupid I might not do it. But if it is really stupid I probably will. And it is fine if you repeat things. I don’t care. Seriously.
- The Year of Halloween – Classy stuff from Eva Halloween. She’s like Elvira but not on TV and with better hair.
- Podcaturday – The site that highlights our weekly podcast. Subscribe, listen, laugh, etc.
- Anacron Music – Purposely UN-scene, intentionally UN-herd, and comfortably UNFAMOUS… Lovely music for music lovers.
- Squeefinity – Anime/manga reviews.
- Danielle Tunstall – Horror photography and graphic design
- Travels with Jonah – A road trip to find the “real America.”
- Robert Bodden – probably lifehacker for hicks. “Don’t have a door? Pick up a shower curtain at the five and dime!”
- A.M. Jenner – The site contains information about his books, links to where to purchase them, and a free writing school.
- More Hip than Hippie – We’ll show you the little things you can do to be more sustainable and earth-friendly without sacrificing convenience, style, and affordability.
- Year ThirtyOne – “I’m really smart. People always forget, because I’m so pretty.”
- The Random Geek – Tech, humor, introspectives, music, a little bit of everything all in one place
- Chaotic Motion – G+ page of author Adam Boenig
- Confused Muse – RP/Collaborative Fiction, plus chat and a lot of plain silliness.
- Papa Kenn Media – Movie reviews, skits, and general insanity.
- Minimalist Photography 101 – uneven photography blog
That’s all I got this week. So now we see what happens next!
Yeah so today I got into a big debate about love and sexy scientists (I guess). And in the middle of the debate one of the guys says: “Oh, you reminded me of the thing I was TRYING TO GRAPH!”
- I need you all to go in there and help me. I think I might be losing.
- Final Destination 5 – so someone had to review that movie. Why not this guy?
- Bachmann-eyezed! – Damn that’s creepy. Creepier than Steve Buscemi, maybe.
- Liquid Lapdance — Liquid Lapdance – 1 Pair – I don’t know if I want this or not. I didn’t dare to read too far in case someone was looking at me.
- Give and get free stuff in your local community – Sure, take someone else’s crap in exchange for your crap. Crap!
- After the jump you can see a kid do a Rubik’s cube in like, 7 seconds. Too bad that they don’t make bombs that can only be defused by doing a Rubik’s cube really fast. If they did that kid would be set.
- Soothing Music – Yeah, I like this kind of thing. And yeah, I’m manly. VERY manly.
So I love Google Plus(click that if you want to see what my eyeballs look like!) but I realized that it isn’t really doing anything for the site. I go over there, yak to some people, solve some crimes and then come back over here and forget about it. Well no more. From now on they are going to start contributing. So without further ado – here are the things I found in my Google Plus stream for Monday, August 15th.
- First Listen: ‘Muppets: The Green Album’ : NPR – Yeah, Google Plus is a little nerdy. But if you want to hear today’s bands sings yesterdays songs instead of…tomorrow’s Muppets then this is the link for you!
- New and Returning Fall 2011-2012 Primetime TV Series – These people should really be absorbed by the Gallery so we can have some actual Hollywoodish content. Someone help me absorb them?
- ‘London Riots Facial Recognition’ Vigilantes Abandon Their Project – Forbes – See Batman doesn’t give up this easy. That’s why Internet “digilantes” aren’t Batman. Quitters.
- Richard Dawkins – “What if you’re wrong?” – So this is apparently atheist porn. This Dawkins guy (unfortuniately NOT a relative of Darryl Dawkins) has some kid ask him “what if you are wrong?” about being an atheist. Now, it’s a pretty dumb question, granted. But the guy just uses like, 250 words when he could have just said “No u”.
- Listing of psychologists/neuroscientists on Google+ – Holy sh*t that’s nerdy. I with they could have added “doing some experiments in the bedroom” or something to make it seem less nerdy.
- Here Is Some Relaxing Footage of a Bat on an Airplane – Heh,we now have one more way to kill vampires.
Hopefully tomorrow some MMA fighters, hot chicks, ninjas and King Arthur knights post some links so I don’t feel so nerdy. So I’ll see you later. I need to go impress some neuroscientists!
Text to Speech – Don’t bother trying to make her say ‘fart’. It won’t let you.
WWTDD – Charlie Sheen lost big in court. I would do a hashtag of #LOSING but that would be stupid.
UPROXX – I’m dubious on some of these. The cats might be dead.
Film Drunk – 1st look at Mystique from the new X-Men movie.
The Superficial – Miranda Kerr really bounced back after the baby.
Nutty Beaver – Can you tell if Tracy Morgan is drunk in this interview?
This is Creepy – Put your name in this weird-ass thing. Or put Acadia Einstein if you are afraid to put your own.
No Top Chef tonight, so here are some links. You deserve it.
- This thing is messed up. I did it and it was weird. Just follow the directions (look at your mouse hand for best effect) and I promise it is not one of those “thing jumps out at you” gay ass fucking things. I promise. I hate those things.
- I really need to get my tumblr where I post all the racist emails I get some more traction. I guess what I’m saying is that if you don’t go to my tumblr and follow it, you are a dirty racist.
- I am going to get the HP Palm tablet when it comes out and use it to smash in the faces of people with iPads. Palm Pre forever!
- I have all my beer delivered by nubile starlets so I don’t need to put them in my fridge, but if I did have to I would pretend I invented this cool trick.
- Vange laughed about this for a whole day.
- This is bad ass and makes me want to build a computer out of ice just to one up this guy.
- The top 10 Ghost photographs. Well, according to the people who wrote the article. I would ask a ghost to judge, but that’s just me.
That’s enough. And since I don’t have any Padma Lakshmi to write about, I put a big giant picture of her after the jump. Maybe it IS the show that dresses her like an idiot. Continue reading
OK, so now I have decided that I am gonna give out a set number of things in the Podcaturday post. A pic (above). The show (below). A Video (tased at a wedding). And a link!
I have started to use Google Chrome more and more, mainly because I have a bunch of shit organized. If you have not tried, it, do it. And if you don’t believe me, then look at these 15 reasons! Sucker! 15 reasons to use Chrome. Actually, most of them suck but the last one is awesome. AWESOME! And now on to the video of a wedding with a wedding party fighting cops and losing. CLick the link to it though cause I cant get it to not autoplay.
Natalie Portman’s ass and I need to tell you about some important developments in Podcaturday land. After the jump we’ll have some links, videos, a poll and maybe some candy.
- This makes noise and you will keep thinking you can make a real song but you can’t so don’t say I didn’t warn you.
- I am so fucking scared of face swaps!
- Go here, then turn off all the hands except for the one second from the right in the middle row. LOLZ
- Post in the comments if you want more or less Doctor Nob!
- Buy Melzer’s book!
- Headshot Heather tricked me by doing a review of Dracula that did NOT involve Winona Ryder’s cans.
- Follow Coffin Nail Neil on Twitter
- Jenny Beans talks about her process. It sounds dirty but it isn’t.
- I saw Harry Potter at this theater tonight. It’s a little piece of me!
That Windows Phone commercial that made me lol is below. If you haven’t seen it you’re weird. Thing is everywhere.
Halloween is over, as is the madness that is October. With November here, that stupid “everyone write a novel for some reason” thing is going on and Jenny Beans is doing it for some reason. Melzer wrote a book and it is getting printed and I told him to send me the link to where he is selling it but he didn’t and I’m too lazy to go look for it. But I will post some sweet links for you in addition to giving you an awesome show down there. Go listen to it, you humps!
- Nikki, who broke down Destination Truth here until the season wrapped up has a new gig at the new MySpace. Yeah, that Myspace. Check her, and it out. She writes about Reality TV.
- Melz didn’t know what YTMND was so here is a link to the best ones. If you don’t appreciate them, you suck!
- Dr. Nob really sicked me out with his dirty word of the week this week. He better bring sexy back next week.
- I dig this chick. And not in the pervy way like usual.
- If you have your own Blog or website, can you link to this page and name it Allison Kyler. I really need to make her realize she should not have snubbed me on that interview request. I’m already on the first page of Google for her, but I want to be higher so she realizes the error of her ways.
- The Halloween Contest is over, but the random draw for $100 is still in the works. Non Spam Comments on this site will get you 5 entries per comment. Listen to the show and find out how to get more!
This week gives us some good old fashioned beat-downs. Coffin Nail Neil challenges my science. We talk about how wrestling used to not suck and I promise to include the trailer to the new Rock movie. I’m sincerely glad that The Rock…IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT I’M SINCERELY GLAD ABOUT! FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK FROM SHITTY MOVIEVILLE! SO I found the trailer and it’s after the jump. Graphic as hell (which means awesome) and it’s really long. I think they just took out the beginning and end credits and left the rest of the movie in it. So get watching. And watch me keep my Podcaturday promise!
Just in case you were wondering, this is the latest Guess My Netflix. Yeah. I’m combining Guess My Netflix in with podcaturday. Remember podcaturday? I DIDN’T! But then I did. And even though we were out of action for a couple of weeks we came back strong with Vampire Stephen Hawking, True Blood is stupid, September 11th and Melzer and Beans‘ new website, Pop Army. And yeah, it all makes sense when you listen to it.
So just to get back on track I’ll be giving you some links. Even though it’s Sunday and not Saturday and it is almost time for football!
- This Interview with Harrison Ford from 1977 is pretty sweet.
- The Cow goes Shazooo!
- I think Homestarrunner might be forever canceled. They have not done a new toon in a long time. But since I’m thinking of them, watch Army.
- Why not be my friend on Facebook? You too good for me?
- I’m reviving the Sam Elliot Zodiac!
And to wrap things up, here are the rules for Guess My Netflix.
Guess My Netflix involves you correctly choosing the movie the screen shot above is taken from. The first person to guess it gets two points. Each right answer posted before I remember to check and shut down the round counts as one point. The first person to 25 points wins $25.00 which I will send via PayPal. If you don’t have PayPal then you don’t get crap. I’m not sending you doubloons or something. Get Guessing!
To see past rounds to see how to play, just check out Guess My Netflix!
Due to my intense technical difficulties, I am all cocked up and I didn’t think of doing Podcaturday this way until now (hotlinking jenny’s file). If I had thought of it yesterday it would have been good, but I also had to drop of my blow job machine vacuum cleaner to get fixed and watch Sherlock Holmes which is now my favorite movie ever. Also I think I may have been drugged and kidnapped for a portion of the day but I can’t be sure. At any rate, the podcat this week is awesome if for no other reason than you can hear birds so clearly that they sound fake. And the links this week are pretty helpful. No joke! Get clicking and listening.
- Jenny Beans – She is doing something called a: “Commitment Report”. I don’t have those. If I did, I would probably forget to post it.
- James Melzer – Read his review of the Changeling – he knows his movies. Especially ones that sounds like they are about diapers!
- Nicole Ireland – Is her name a porn star name or what? Seriously.
- Sparkle the Cat – Sparkle’s human owner is really interesting. I hear the cat had drug problems. The price of fame.
- Darron Aquino – This guy totally is a spam comment, but it made me laugh. He said: “thanks to your ideas , i¡¯d adore to adhere to your weblog as usually as i can.possess a good day”. You adhere, Darron. And you possess a good day.
- Business Development Tips – I don’t know how much business I have to develop, but the list of free stuff on that one post was gold.
- CCleaner - I was talking to Nicole the non-Porn star who was bitching about her computer being slow. This program is free and it does all sorts of shit. Beneficial shit, that is. You have no idea how many programs are installed on your computer. I promise you that!
- Nature’s True Beauty – This site has lotions and potions and stuff that don’t have chemicals in them. Or something. Let me go look…. OK, so It says on the site that they provide: “alternatives to synthetically produced products for your body, family and home.” Why do they get in? Because the stuff they sell helped someone I care about. And no, it isn’t YOU. So go buy some soap made from pee or whatever other healthy things they sell.
- Twenty Nine Cast - When you see JW’s soccer article (later tonight) you will like soccer. Guy is talented. Go listen to him.
Comment of the Week!
Vange is not around this week for some reason so I am doing comment of the week. And it just so happens that it is being awarded to a guy that actually tried to HELP me! Thanks, Sparky!
Acadia, I have a WRT160N and it blocks everything as well It took me a long time to get mine configured but i found the problem in the firewall part under applications.Mine had FTP and everything blocked when i opened the port i was set again, 21 default FTP, In case you dont have it here is a link to the manual on yours chapter 5 page 19 tells about FTP, not sure if thats anything you need but it might be a start.good luck. LONG ASS LINK
Oh, and by the way, you helped me prove it is not blocked! I am pretty much sure it is the firmware now. Happy podcaturday everyone!