Ever watch a music video and not have a clue what is going on? Some of them can be quite abstract, and more often than not, the videos don’t have much to do with the song. Rest assured, this was not a problem for long once the internet got a hold of these things. Today I will give you a single example, but YouTube has plenty more if you like this one. Here you will be told in vivid detail exactly what is going on in Michael Jackson’s “Billie Jean” video.
Yeah, I’m groaning at that title, too. But, it was either that or “A Walrus Dances to Michael Jackson”. I guess either works. So yeah, since nothing else has caught my fancy lately, I give you a walrus dancing to Michael Jackson’s “Bad”. And it’s pretty darn good, too. Don’t think that the walrus simply moves awkwardly while the trainer does most of the dancing. No, this thing get’s it’s boogie on.
Today I have an interesting little video for you. This one’s of a guy dancing to Michael Jackson while making cotton candy. I’m not sure if that sounds enticing or not, but the dude is pretty smooth and I think you’ll be missing out if you skip this one. I love videos like this. It makes me extremely happy to see people out there enjoying doing things that you would normally think are soul sucking jobs.
I have never had a post where there were so many contenders for the banner pic. After the jump you will see some horrible things the South Carolina State Fair tried to get me to eat. But before I got to that, I thought you should see the kind of things they were pushing that you couldn’t eat. Shaney Spires down there won an unfortunately titled scholarship. There were plenty of people there who were apparently worried that I was going to seek out a pregnant woman and whale her in the gut with a bat and that Jesus would rather I didn’t.
But I think the best part was the food. You know how some states are known for a kind of food? Like, Maine has lobsters. New Mexico has green chiles. Chicago has deep dish pizza. Texas has, I don’t know, shakes served by pompous jerks. Anyway. I was all excited to find out what South Carolina was famous for. As I sat at the end of the ski lift style gondola thing I realized that the food stands I saw had an effect. See the people were supposed to hop off the ski lift chair and jog over to the left. But most of the people couldn’t jog. They just got bumped to the side or knocked over or the dude had to stop the whole thing. There was not a lot of athleticism on display. After the jump you will see why. Oh, but the pics in the pig races were fast as hell! Continue reading
I know, I should burn my fingerprints off with acid for even typing those evil words. Yes, Michael Jackson was an incredibly talented, and the hip jutting dance moves he modified were obviously stolen from Elvis, but the similarities stop there… or do they?
Last week was Michael Jackson’s 52nd birthday, or it would have been, and on his birthday there were numerous WackoJacko sightings all over the world. Dancing, singing, living a secret life in Ireland–now you see where I tied in the whole Elvis thing? No? Come on, how many times have you seen Elvis in the last twenty-five years? And I’m not talking about that time Bruce Campbell played him in that Bubba Ho-Tep movie either.
Because, they are arguing in Iowa about building a BUTTER sculpture for him.
I don’t know how you sculpt butter, I assume a lot like ice, but with more heart disease. So, basically, someone clearly got the idea to butter the man up and maybe get an appearance out of Al Sharpton or Magic Johnson at the state fair. Not likely, but maybe, the Reverend would grace the state with his presence just straight jaw jackin’ with the locals over how grand Michael looks as a butter sculpture.
Then, of course people realized that Michael Jackson was a weird dude and they weren’t so sure he should be met with the kind of adoration that would normally be reserved for, and I’m assuming here, Andy Williams.
So now we have a huge ordeal and the fair is just a mere 35 days away! Compromise and sculpt Michael out of corn on the cob.