The Walking Dead: Heads Up; or, Glenn is Alive – For Now

Cider

First of all, I'm so angry that Glenn is alive. Not because I actually want Glenn to be dead, of course not. He's one of my favorites, duh. But because I think it's crappy of the writers to play this trick on everyone. I said previously that I believed Glenn was dead, so now not only do I get to be mad that the writers did bad writing, I also get to be mad that they made me be wrong.

At least they started off by showing this to us right away, I guess. I mean it's annoying enough they waited this long to show it to us.

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There are so many things far-fetched about this. At this point the main object of the show, as far as Glenn goes, seems to be to almost kill him and then show us he is still alive somehow. It's either stupid because he's just magically indestructible, or it's too much foreshadowing for his actual, impending death.

Next: I could not possibly care less about a character than I care about Enid.

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I don't care about her when she's trying to be badass, when she's trying to be emotionless, when she's crying, when she's trying to be nice. I don't care about her. Because she is the worst. 

Actually, let me revise that: whiny teenagers are the worst.

Teenagers Being The Worst

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We don't have to talk.

Oh, OK, thanks, Enid. You don't have to live. Just, you know, FYI.

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Speaking of terrible teenagers. Hey Rick, cool idea: how about teaching a kid who hates you and your son how to use a gun? Good plan. Sidenote: Jessie, I like you, but I think both of your sons are psychopaths. Probably the townspeople should have helped you out a lot sooner with your abusive f$&# of a husband.

Chandler Riggs as Carl Grimes - The Walking Dead _ Season 6, Episode 7 - Photo Credit: Gene Page/AMC

Annoying teen number 3: Carl. Here he is looking all smug and adding unnecessary rejoinders onto everything his dad says to Ron about shooting a gun. Carl, you are insufferable. Literally, I can't suffer you anymore. I'm begging for someone to shoot you at this point.

Other People Who are the Worst

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Eugene. Enough already. Enough with the hair, enough with the voice, enough with the acting like a character from Big Bang Theory.

Oh, I have analyzed this scientifically and have come to the conclusion that it's a sharp metal implement and there are people with open-toed shoes around.

There are? There are people training with machetes in a field in the zombie apocalypse and they're wearing open-toed shoes? Seems cromulent.

Here's Rosita being utterly fed up with you:

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Really? I can't even, Eugene.

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Morgan, you're still the worst. I guess if you want to say you're never going to kill anyone again that's one thing. Stop trying to get everyone else around you to follow your silly rules. Stop involving people like Denise in your schemes to get secret medicine to that lunatic you are hiding in the basement. Just stop it. Stahhhhhhhhhp.

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Spencer. Just hurry up and die already. Hurry up. You are basically a whiny teen in an adult body. You're not batman. You're not some kind of Navy SEAL. Stop trying to climb across a zipline you dolt.

I want to be happy for Maggie that she knows Glenn is alive, really.

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Glenn could totes be alive, gurl. I mean like for realz, yo.

Except I assume he'll be dead before another 24 hours passes in the timeline of the show, because that's the rate we're going at for attempted-deaths-of-Glenn so, you know, don't bother getting excited or anything hon.

All I can say is that a lot of stuff happened this episode, which I appreciate, and it was interesting and kept me engaged, but by the end I seriously almost wanted that tower to fall (and how come nobody thought this might be a problem other than tv viewers, of course?).

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Oh snap.

What did you think? Can you believe Glenn is still alive? Can you believe how terrible teenagers are, even in the zombie apocalypse? Can Morgan just hurry up and die or something already?

Leave your comments below!

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Cider
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I'm the President of Not Helping Acadia at this site, as well as Editor-in-Chief because none of these monkeys whacking on keyboards can spell. My username doesn't mean anything to you and I refuse to explain it. If you don't like me I don't care. Become a writer for the site and post your own garbage then, you plebe.

12 Comments

  1. Bigscrod wants cake
    November 24, 2015 at 8:45 am

    I agree with every single point. I would not be disappointed if Rick, Daryl, Carol and Jessie were the only ones to survive the season ending. I know, wishful thinking…
    When the episode started and they showed him under the dumpster, I actually said, out loud, “this is some bullshit”. I am sure the writers were doing a little happy dance for themselves “we are putting the viewers on the same plane of uncertainty as the characters!” Please don’t do that again. No more 90minute David Carradine episodes in the second half either, please and thank you.

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    • Cider
      CiderReply
      November 24, 2015 at 9:15 am

      Me tooooooooo! I was like “eff this nonsense”. I was yelling at my tv about the stupid dumpster crap. Utterly ridiculous. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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  2. Chikuba Kyojin-Shu
    November 24, 2015 at 10:03 am

    I always said I’d stop watching when Glenn died. I think it’s revised to: I’ll stop watching because Glenn didn’t die. Don’t these producers and writers even know that the god of Character Death is George Martin has a wildly popular show mostly because even Sean Bean got killed? Winter is Coming but Cider may have to watch GOT this season.

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    • Cider
      CiderReply
      November 24, 2015 at 10:23 am

      Duh, like you could stop me from watching GOT????? Did you forget my obsession with THAT show?

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      • Chikuba Kyojin-Shu
        November 24, 2015 at 1:17 pm

        You may have to write about it too. After the battle for King’s Landing it all goes downhill for me in both the books and the show. The only reason I’m still watching is in case Gwen Christie decides to do the full Monty as Brienne of Tarth.

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  3. Acadia Einstein
    November 24, 2015 at 10:08 am

    Hey, how come they didn’t send a bunch of loud sound things into the bottom of that pit so they would stay down there? At least would have given them time to fix the trucks or whatever, no?

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    • Cider
      CiderReply
      November 24, 2015 at 10:24 am

      Some character suggested that. The problem, according to Rick, (and as the show has taught us, he’s always right), is that eventually they’d have to deal with it and so they better just do it now. At least they could plan for it then, and take care of it, if they just tried to buy themselves time he thought they would be surprised by a sudden breakout.

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  4. Bigscrod wants cake
    November 24, 2015 at 10:48 am

    Sitting here at 9:47 reading post from 10:24.
    OMIGOD I’M READING POSTS IN THE FUTURE! WHAT ARE THE LOTTERY NUMBERS? HOW DO MY CHILDREN TURN OUT? DID BERNIE SANDERS GAIN ENOUGH SUPPORT TO MAKE A GOOD SHOWING IN THE PRIMARY?!?!?!????

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    • Cider
      CiderReply
      November 24, 2015 at 11:40 am

      Good news: Your children turn out alright, but they win the lottery and refuse to share with you. Bernie Sanders is president. But Acadia still regularly calls me a harpy, so you win some you lose some.

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      • Chikuba Kyojin-Shu
        November 24, 2015 at 1:18 pm

        Are you still posting Knee porn on Google +?

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        • Cider
          CiderReply
          December 5, 2015 at 12:40 pm

          Yes.

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  5. Sangfroid
    November 24, 2015 at 1:22 pm

    Promise me you’ll review Y: The Last Man when it makes it to TV. I can see your head exploding at regular intervals with that story.

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