The Walking Dead: Thank You

Cider

This write-up contains spoilers for both the comic and the show, I can’t help it. So you’ve been warned.

The rumor mills are running rampant all over the internet, everyone is worked up into a frenzy, and people are completely convinced that Glenn is not dead.

I say Glenn is dead. If Glenn is not dead I call so much shenanigans on this show and will be supremely angry. First of all, remember when Nicholas tried to kill Glenn before?

s6e3-glenn-flashback-woods

Well, doesn’t it seem almost perfect, then that Nicholas the bumbling fool trying to redeem himself, who was warned off of the task and many other sub-tasks along the way, by Glenn, would still be the one to do Glenn in with his own stupid behavior?

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Thank you.

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Oh, you’re welcome, you’re welcome you useless, sniveling prick. You’re welcome for letting you lead me uselessly down one of apparently an inconceivable number of dead-end alleys in this tiny town. Now please repay me by blowing your head off for no reason and then falling on me. That would be stellar.

Having read a bunch of internet gossip about all the “proof” that Glenn isn’t dead I submit the following explanations for why it’s all nonsense:

Nicholas fell on top of Glenn. OK first of all if that’s true, they did a sloppy job of showing it because that’s not really what it looks like but whatever. The reasons people think this means Glenn is not dead are both that they thing the insides being eaten are Nicholas’s, not Glenn’s, and because they think that Nicholas’s blood and gore all over Glenn will “disguise” him to the walkers. Disguise him as what? Fresh meat to eat because it’s delicious and warm and alive? When these people have disguised themselves as walkers before, the disgusting gore they spread all over themselves was from walkers, so they smelled like dead zombies, not living people with fresh blood. Come on, internet, you can do better than that. Also the argument that the innards they are pulling out which look like intestines are too far up on Glenn’s body is really not an important one – I don’t think they have been super careful to be hyper-realistic with their gore, just hyper-gory.

But that’s not what happens in the comics. OK if you want to read the comics and be surprised, then don’t read this paragraph. Listen, dummies, that’s not the only thing that doesn’t happen in the comics. If you haven’t figured it out, the show is not sticking to the details of the plot. Other pretty major differences in the comics that are also not what happened on the show: Rick gets his hand chopped off by The Governor, Michonne is raped and tortured by The Governor (thank god this didn’t happen on the show honestly), Andrea is alive and well in the comics and hooking up with Rick, Carol is dead in the comics, in a very stupid way and was completely unlikeable, Lori survives birthing Judith but they both die at the prison in the comics. Tyrese gets decapitated, not Herschel, in the comics. These are only the first few things I could think of.

Enid, the girl nobody cares about because she is the worst, is going to show up and rescue Glenn. Guys, I can’t even with this. Not at all. I don’t dignify it with a response.

There’s room to hide under the dumpster. OK but he is surrounded by hundreds (thousands?) of zombies in a frenzy of flesh-eating zombie ecstasy. The chances he can get out from under Nicholas (if he’s under him) and scoot under the tiny barely Glenn-sized dumpster to hide, without getting bitten by one of them somewhere on his body are ridiculously low.

Maggie might be pregnant. So? Also can people please stop having babies in the apocalypse? It’s not the best time.

We completely missed all the foreshadowing. The Glenn having a poignant moment with Maggie about how important it was that he go out on this mission, with Meaningful Glances. Glenn volunteering for the blow-up-a-building mission after telling Michonne how important it was that he get home. Michonne reminding him that he has a wife (we all know, geez, we get it). This is the kind of annoying stuff they do when someone actually is going to die.

But we don’t want him to be dead. Well this is the dumbest reason of all.

I will submit that this doesn’t mean I’m right, but if he’s alive that’s a bit of shitty writing if you ask me, and a mistake. (Will I stop watching the show in protest? Hell no!)

OK let’s talk about some other things.

First, there are a lot of people on the internet also mad at Rick but not me. I’m on board the Rick train. This scene?:

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I get it that it is supposed to seem overly harsh, and that it’s this thing that Heath overhears so he can have angst about everything the entire time, but also? It’s true. If a couple of you soft babies don’t make it back but they save the town, so be it. Get over yourselves. You are not unique and special snowflakes. 

And of course, literally seconds later, one of them dies for no reason, because nobody noticed the zombie right next to him. I do have a huge problem with the way that sometimes zombies approach like ninjas and sometimes they hear their raspy groaning 100 yards away. Which is it? Be consistent. Anyway, Rick dispatches with him and grabs useful stuff off his body and carries on much to everyone’s horror. You knew that guy was done-for anyway when he was crying to Michonne about how everything was Rick’s fault. Guy, did you not see what happened to Carter 2 episodes ago? Yeesh.

Basically everything that Rick says and does this episode is right, I don’t want to hear your crying. Rick and Carol know what’s up. He didn’t say “Hey, as soon as you can, ditch these losers and run for home,” he said, “They’re not all going to make it,” which is obviously true. I mean in about the next 30 seconds of screen time one guy dies, one guy runs off (only to die later of course) and another guy gets a death bite that would have killed him slowly if they let him live long enough.

Here is a major gripe I have, I always have, but it was particularly bad this episode – why do these people allow their friends/companions to be devoured alive in front of them? I get it that sprained-ankle Annie wasn’t going to make it but how about she blows off her own head or you do it for her. Why let her suffer through being literally eaten alive? Remember how that happened to Noah because of Nicholas and Glenn was so horrified because he couldn’t do anything about it?

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Apparently it’s cool now, it’s the status quo. It happened to Annie, the I-forget-his-name shoulder wound doomed guy, and I’m pretty sure if Rick wasn’t there it would have happened to that first idiot in the woods too. For Pete’s sake, show some mercy.

Of course you know that guy was doomed when Michonne refused to take his note and told him he’s getting home. Come on, Michonne, I know you’re trying to accomplish something here but that was extreme. How about tell him he’s getting home but take his note anyway.

Alright, in all the Glenn is/isn’t dead furor I myself almost forgot about the final scenes with Rick in the RV.

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I like that Rick is kind of indestructible and harsh and ridiculous. Again, we don’t need a Travis in this world, we need Ricks and Carols. I almost had an actual heart attack when he was ambushed out of the blue by the Wolves (I presume? I didn’t specifically recognize the actors) but I cheered when he quickly killed both men in the RV, saw the people sneaking up the side and took them out too. No hand to hand nonsense struggling around with people crawling all over him or trying to hack him to pieces. No worrying about who they are or Travis-in it up like Morgan. Nope, you messed with the wrong person, guys. You’re done-zo.

Of course, the one thing I then screamed at my TV about was this: Rick, please, for the love of everything, go close the door of the RV. And while you’re at it, roll up your windows. I know it’s hot in Georgia The D.C. Metro area but you know, there are walkers who want to gnaw the flesh off your bones out there. Suffer and sweat a little bit more for a while.

Rick is now screwed either way if he can’t get the RV to start. I don’t see a way he can fight his way out and accomplish anything other than hiding, and if he chose to stay in the RV quietly, he just gets to watch the horde he was trying to stop rush right to his town.

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In fact, last time we saw Alexandria wasn’t Morgan at the wall listening to zombies on the outside? Doesn’t that mean they’re already there? (Please note, these are the kind of zombies that make noise not the stealthy kind that appear out of nowhere to bite necks like vampires in the woods.)

What did you think? Is Glenn alive or dead? How much do you hate the writers either way? Leave your comments below.

Come back every week to discuss more!



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Cider
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I'm the President of Not Helping Acadia at this site, as well as Editor-in-Chief because none of these monkeys whacking on keyboards can spell. My username has now been explained, you're welcome. If you don't like me I don't care. Become a writer for the site and post your own garbage then, you plebe.

9 Comments

  1. Sal
    SalReply
    October 27, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    I don’t think Glenn is actually dead, and that has nothing to do with the scene itself and more to do with the writers. I mean, they didn’t give him the usual fanfare they give most main cast members when they’re offed, even Merle’s death was way more explicit than Glenn’s dumpster dive (as in the camera angles were a little ambiguous -- if they can do full frontal brutality, they gonna do it). I think they might be pulling this now since there’s been rumors of Negan being introduced this season, so they can shock non-comic fans later on -- like, “ha, you thought he was safe!” kinda thing. Still, if he really is dead, I’d be okay with that, and give props to the writers. I love Glenn to bits, I do, but they have a tendency to dangle him in front of danger then reel him back.

    Just leaving David (guy w/note) to die like that was a little weird. I can understand not putting Annie out of her misery -- the walkers were too close for a sword, and a gunshot would draw even more towards them, but David was right on the other side of that fence, I mean, c’mon. But Michonne defending Rick while also showing how compassionate she can be was great to see. She’s become my 2nd fav.

    And I’ll forgive Rick his inability to close doors, b/c his tiny breakdown in the RV broke my fucking heart. Even when he hasn’t been composed he’s been aggressive as of late, and seeing him pushed to that point of desperation after one shitstorm of a day just hurt to see.

    On a happier note, that “anti-Rick” guy in the beginning literally lasted 90 seconds. I was a terrible person for laughing, but I think that’s the shortest lifespan on anyone who’s been all “Rick’s bad wrong” I have ever seen.

    • Cider
      October 29, 2015 at 8:56 am

      I hate the way the writers handled the Glenn thing whether he’s dead or alive. It’s nonsense. Shenanigans.

      As for Michonne I agree, I really liked her this episode except for the whole watching people get eaten alive nonsense. Put them out of their misery, JFC.

      Yes, Rick’s breakdown in the RV! I think part of what I loved about that scene was that he had his breakdown and then when he got attacked right away, bada$$ mode again, quickly dispatches with everyone. Rick is not to be effed with.

      And I also laughed at how quickly the “Rick is dead” guy was gone. You knew that was coming but it was a new switfness that I found hilarious.

  2. Kati
    KatiReply
    October 27, 2015 at 9:34 pm

    I don’t know. I was angry. I vowed to stop watching. A few days in, I am on pins and needles about it. As a side note, I also have unhealthy attachments to television characters and went through an actual grieving process when Lost ended.

    • Cider
      October 29, 2015 at 8:57 am

      I also have an entirely unhealthy attachment to television characters and almost actually was depressed when BSG ended, when Madmen ended, etc.

  3. angelamia
    October 28, 2015 at 10:35 am

    I was sitting on the couch in front of the television with my Chromebook on my lap, simultaneously watching TWD and ordering Velcro on Amazon, when the Glenn scene went down. I was fully expecting another phone-it-in episode, obviously, and they blindsided me. Blindsided me! I had to rewind. Twice. Then I stopped watching before the end and went to bed in a huff, and watched the whole episode again fresh in the morning.

    I see what everyone is shouting about. Sure, it could have been Nicholas’ body the zombies were munching on. Sure, Glenn is tiny, and the dumpster was RIGHT THERE. He could have rolled under it. Or maybe he just did the jingle. (“Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there!”)

    Mostly, I think people have hope that Glenn is alive because as he lay there, guts being ripped apart in front of him, his facial expression was more like the one I get when my kid yet again forgets his lunch (water bottle, trumpet) on the way to school than the one I would get if someone was ripping my guts out in front of me. But what do I know, I am just guessing here.

    Why, writer-Gods, why? Why Glenn, and not Maggie? I would shoot her myself rather than listen to that ridiculous accent anymore. (Come on!) But then, I suppose, I would have to watch episode after episode of Glenn sniffling and whimpering about losing Maggie, so at least they spared me that.

    Yes, I am bummed to think Glenn is dead; yet, I hope he is, because if he isn’t, boy, will everyone be pissed at them for crying wolf (<—-- see what I did there?) We all know that trust is critical — critical — in the completely delusional relationship between a TV show and its viewers.

    Anyway, they’ve got to fix this, because they completely screwed me, and now they owe me, Because in all the hubub, I totally forgot to order my Velcro. Thanks, writer-Gods. Thanks a lot.

    • Cider
      October 29, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Basically, yes, this.

  4. bluzdude
    October 28, 2015 at 6:32 pm

    I think Glenn is not dead, just because his inevitable death needs to be much more “epic;” not a matter of dumbfuckery on the part of Nicholas.

    And I was totally PO’d that they couldn’t help out their temporary friends by putting them out of their misery, so they wouldn’t have to experience the slow torture of being eaten alive. I mean, that should be standard procedure.

    • Cider
      October 29, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Thank you. Seriously, why do they let that happen? It’s one thing if you can’t control it but why do you just stand at the fence watching doomed-married-guy get eaten? WTF?

  5. Bigscrod wants cake
    October 29, 2015 at 11:03 am

    Isn’t Glenn’s end pretty full circle with the way we first met him? I agree, I would be upset if Glenn turned out to be alive through some bullshit device (giant underground wheel, dream shower sequence, time traveling DeLorean, etc.), they may have some clever way to actually make it work. But I doubt it. Let’s move forward and make Maggie even more like Carol. This also serves to fully illustrate the point that not everyone is redeemable. Something the other characters didn’t get to see, but we did.

    The zombie loud vs. soft thing has happened since the first episode. Some zombie are napping, hanging out, until they smell someone tasty bumping into them. Also, typically herding walkers are noisier than small groups or individuals.

    Since you mentioned it, Rick does have a nasty wound on his hand, that would happen to be infected with walker blood… Just saying’, it is happening differently, but it looks about to happen. Andrew Lincoln has been working so hard, now he will need to do it all with a green glove on one hand. I feel bad for him. A little.

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.