pharma

My next plan to get attention is to kidnap Taylor Swift and tie her to some train tracks so I’ll get to meet Batman

Martin Shkreli, Pharma Bro as he’s now known for jacking up the price of the AIDS and cancer drug Daraprim by 5,000 percent, has done it again. When you’re a sociopathic businessman it’s a real problem to figure out what to do with all the cash you’ve squeezed out of the sick and dying. Burying it all in the desert in barrels is a possibility but you only have to do that if you’re a high school teacher turned meth cook. If you’re an honest legal businessman you can buy whatever the hell you want with it. If it’s impressively stupid enough the Stock Market Bros will invest more in your companies. (Which they are doing)

For only Two Million dollars Martin Shkreli bought the exclusive Wu-Tang Clan album. Only one copy was made. It was placed in a hand-carved wooden box with a leather-bound book of parchment paper then stored in Marrakech while a frantic bidding war went on for who would own this priceless artifact of whatever the hell it is Robert Diggs (aka RZA) cooked up in a Hip-Hop version of the Emperor’s new clothes. We’ll never know if it’s a huge joke by the Wu-Tang Clan because Martin Shkreli doesn’t intend to let us common folk listen to it.

“We’re about to put out a piece of art like nobody else has done in the history of music,” RZA told Forbes. “We’re making a single-sale collector’s item. This is like someone having the scepter of an Egyptian king.” –Robert Diggs

Martin Shkreli hasn’t actually listened to the album. The Bloomberg Businessweek article that broke this story tells us that he delegated the task of confirming that there is an actual recording to an employee. He made his final decision on the basis of the auction-house representative telling him all sorts of cool people like celebrities and rappers would want to hear it.

That’s right Martin Shkreli blew two million dollars of hard grafted money in hopes of getting a date. He’s joked on Twitter that he’d buy Katy Perry’s guitar to get a date with her and he’s also said that he’ll listen to Shaolin with Taylor Swift.  Katy Perry and Taylor Swift being two of the least likely musicians to want to listen to a secret Wu-Tang Clan album I don’t think Shkreli actually knows what he bought.

“I was a little worried that they were going to walk out of the deal. But by then we’d closed. The whole kind of thing since then has been just kind of ‘Well, do we want to announce it’s him? Do we not want to announce it’s him?’” –Martin Shkreli

cute

Cute gay guys in costume might like to RP with a super villain Martin.

Martin Shkreli is basically a living cartoon villain. He’s only one step away from buying a costume and making all the typical Evil Overlord mistakes while Batman and Robin rappel down the side of his building ready to go POW and BAM in order to put an end to his badness.  He’s already made a list of other artists he’s willing to pay for exclusive albums just so he can keep it from us. The only problem is out of all the billionaires out there not one of them wants to be Batman

“If there is a curious gap in your favorite artist’s discography, well, now you know why.” –Martin Shkreli

batman