I know none of these people care if I like them or not.  But I figure if I can sway anyone ELSE to not like them then that whole 6 degrees of separation thing will set in.  Then they will be disliked by tons more people.  So let’s get to disliking!  These aren’t in any kind of order.  If I could put things in a revolving circle with like arrows shooting them it would rule.  I am so unskilled.

Bobby Flay

This guy just sucks it.  I hate him on Next Food Network Star.  And also, how come everyone on Food Network is a star?  Are they like porn?  Anyway – Bobby Flay sucks.  He’s an arrogant tool and he lost on Iron Chef last night and I was glad.  His Melon dishes with a frozen component all sucked, and not ONCE did he giggle when he kept saying ‘melon’ and ‘honeydew’ and all sorts of other boobie sounding words.  Humorless Dick.

I am not quite sure how much traction the ‘dislike Bobby Flay’ movement is going to get, but I am super fine with everyone jumping on the bandwagon.  Maybe we could go to Barnes and Noble and find his cook books and write ‘1/2 cup of poop’ at the beginning of each recipe?

Eleanor Clift

What’s wrong with her?  I’ll tell you what’s wrong with her.  In fact I’ll tell you a few things.

  1. She realized a long time ago that the only way she was going to be heard on The McLaughlin Group was to continously shriek like someone was trying to fit a coked up cat wearing a needle suit into her colon.  So the whole show is her shrieking.
  2. Her shrieking interrupts my watching of Monica Crowley.  Notice I did not say listening, but rather watching.  Monica is terrifying in her beauty and her stupidness.  Eleanor being on the same set wrecks it for me.
  3. She looks like a Skeksis and all she does is repeat Democratic talking points.  Bah!

Memphis from Big Brother 10

This turd gets on my nerves perhaps worse than anyone else on this list.  For example – this is an excerpt from his bio on the Big Brother site:

Memphis is a very charismatic young man who, as a teenager, once sold fake Nike sport shoes on street corners. He currently works as a “Mixologist,” which he insists should not be confused with a bartender.

That’s just stupid.  And also his name is Memphis.  I bet his parents conceived him there, after being overcome by the rapture of Graceland.  Ugh.

I hope they vote him out soon.  And I hope when the do he cries.  And when he gets home he finds out that there is no such thing as a ‘Mixologist’ and has to work at Foot Locker.

John McCain

This is not a political post.  If you want’s political humor, then you need to go over to Polisicks.  I am just talking about the fact that he is a disoriented old crab who just keeps grumping around and bothering me.  And that’s not even the worst thing.  The worst thing is when he calls everyone ‘My friends’.  He does that in every goddamned speech.

That bugs me as much and Bill Clinton pointing with his goddamned thumb.  Who advises these people?  I don’t want some guy who isn’t my friend to call me his friend.  He gonna move this couch with me?  I don’t think so.  I am saying it right now.  If he loses, it is going to be because of that ‘My Friends’ thing.  I want to be called ‘folks’ or ‘hey’ or ‘you people’.  Stupid old grump.

I bet there is a person on his staff who tells him the same knock-knock joke every morning, and writes down whether he acts like he never heard it before.  That’s what I’d do.

Sharon Osborne

She’s on this list because I know who she is and I shouldn’t.  She is the WIFE of a famous person.  I don’t know Robert Plant’s wife’s name.  I don’t know anyone who is famous’ wife’s name unless the wife is famous for something other than being married to the famous guy.  And the same goes in reverse.  If some famous woman marries a doctor, nobody cares who he is.  And we shouldn’t care who this hag is.

I think she is a judge on some show.  And if she is, the show had better be called: Mooching off your spouse’s fame.  In fact, if that IS the show, I would so watch it.  I bet Ice T’s wife will win!

Let’s all try to get Sharon Osborne to have to be not on TV.  Or radio.  Or on the paper.  Unless it is a story about how she sucks and she was awarded the suckiest sucker award by the International Suck Institute.

So, in conclusion – all these people bother me.  Please make sure you dislike them and try to get your friends and colleagues to do the same.  You all owe me.  So get going.

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