I don’t subscribe to the “hunk of the week” newsletter anymore (too many questions) but I am pretty sure that Antonio Banderas was the Sexiest Man Alive once.  So it’s sad that now he seems like a terrified nut.  Just look at him.

  • Shoes stolen from a hippie chick from 1978
  • Parachute Pants?
  • Clutching a knapsack like it’s full of coke or stolen gold
  • Face all scared looking like everyone knows he has a knapsack full of coke or stolen gold
  • A bottle of hand sanitizer or lube or something in the door pocket

You might have a different explanation for all of this but I happened to know first hand that the ONE time I wore clogs and parachute pants I got all paranoid and stole some coke from a bunch of gold thieves and it was scary as hell.  My car wasn’t that good, though.  I had to try to get away in a Nissan Sentra.  And getting in the back seat did me no good because I didn’t have a driver.  I just sat there freaking out until someone called the security guard from Hobby Lobby who called the cops.

Godspeed, Antonio Banderas.  I’ve been there, brother.