Technically this is a bikini post.  Admittedly not the kind you were looking for but what do you want from me?  I just found out that Charlotte McKinney went on a date with David gd Spade.  WHY DO SO MANY WOMEN LOVE DAVID SPADE?  Maybe we will never know, but since I no longer have any will to live, why should you?  So let’s do bikinis!  Technically. Arlinda Craft, 18, Anns Leigh Hill, 19, and Megan Williams, 20, all face second degree assault and battery by a mob charges (in bikinis)

The three girls in the video below are in bikinis, whaling on some other girl who is also in a bikini.  This of course is being filmed by some idiot guy (yay for journalism in South Carolina)!  Apparently, these teenagers have been bullying the victim since 10th grade.  So they decided to all go to what looks like the sort of place that you would dump a body for a fun “day at the river”.

Here’s how that turned out:

They broke the girl’s nose and gave her a concussion.  Then I guess they went back to laying on a grimy rock under a dead tree or whatever those trashy hilljacks do for fun.  Now I know that it is supposed to be “innocent until proven guilty” but whatever.  I’m not a court.  Unless that girl they jumped ugly with just got done drowning a bag of kittens, this was not deserved.

On the other hand – how is this for a sexy mug shot?

Anns Leigh Hill


And no, I didn’t spell “Anna” wrong.  Her parents did.  Here’s all three of them!


And the one that I assume is the ring-leader (or mastermind if you will) is on the left above and solo below.  She’s scrappy!

Arlinda Craft


And, since I am a pretty awesome reporter, I am pretty sure the Instagram beating dished out by Arlinda is below.  And hey, maybe when both of these vids make it to World Star Hip Hop, Arlinda, Anns and Megan can send them to Isis recruiters like high school kids do with their football highlight reels.  They would get a full ride in a heartbeat!

One other thing: I am sure a lot of you want to say that you are “sure their parents must be so proud” but before you say that, remember this is Columbia, South Carolina.  They probably are!