Editor’s note – Ballsack wrote this back in April and I forgot to publish it until now. Kind of scary how dead on he is, no? — Acadia
The key to Australian’s success on the international scene, particularly in lousy movies and B tier celebrity demagoguery is not koala bears, echidnas, sharks or even talent as is commonly thought. This is a self evident truth given that everything in Australia will kill you ten times over before you even realised it… such is the danger of Australia. That didn’t make any sense at all.
The real secret to Australia’s success’s, like Huge Jackman, Mad Max and Nicole Kidman is nuclear power. And I don’t mean the sort of nuclear power that requires uranium to be dug from the ground and then refined and then by some magic turned into electrical energy… no… I mean the nuclear ICBM capability Australia has. I mean, it has to be that! Why would anyone in the world accept Australia and its shit list celebrities and are so nice to Australians without having a gun pointed to their head? Or in this case a nuclear tipped ICBM.
Photo of Huge Jackman in the war room gazing at the big map on the wall – below government house (next to the pub).
Think about it, it makes a ton of sense.