Ashlee Simpson is Still Alive?

Acadia Einstein

Jessica Simpson has a line of clothes or something and needed to promote it at Macy’s. That person on the left is her sister, Ashlee.  I assumed she was dead but maybe I just assume everyone I haven’t thought about in 4 years is dead.  It’s not like I can keep track of all these things.  Famous people’s jobs are to do things people care about.  THIS DOES NOT QUALIFY!  I watch Project Runway sometimes.  It takes like, a day to make a dress out of bologna or old mailboxes so why would I pay triple for one from these two?

Maybe if they could use the picture below for the ad campaign. It would improve things.  If she went around sticking her tongue out like that wearing a Jedi cloak and holding a sign that said “This is what your girlfriend wants for Christmas” America would look like a giant LARP game on December 26th.

Why do I not work in an ad agency?

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....


  1. Jen Li
    Jen LiReply
    November 13, 2012 at 9:19 am

    Nope. Still dead.

    • Acadia
      November 13, 2012 at 8:15 pm

      Poor things.

  2. TGNP
    November 13, 2012 at 10:03 am

    I LOVE that picture. I want to re-create it.

    • Acadia
      November 13, 2012 at 8:16 pm

      Pfft – I would bet you 10 bucks if you got close. I don’t even think you can find a flight of stairs. Or have hair.

  3. njmarsh
    November 13, 2012 at 10:29 am

    I don’t know who either of these people are.

    • Acadia
      November 13, 2012 at 8:16 pm

      Um, it is Jen Li and TGNP. Their names are right there Miss Snooty.

      • Eva Halloween
        November 14, 2012 at 3:03 pm

        N Jill Marsh is not snooty. She’s just too busy with cool things like toy butchers and spiders to give a fig for dumb celebs. So there!

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.