Author: Acadia Einstein

Maxwell Mbavarire – Please email me forever.

When I got back to my fort today.  Not that I live in a fort, but I do have a fort in my house.  And it isn’t a shitty one with chairs and blankets like your sucky baby forts.  But anyway, I looked in my email, and I had two (actually eight cause Maxwell seems to be a button hammerer) emails from some guy names Maxwell Mbavarire.  They are the best emails I ever received, and I am hoping that Maxwell sends me some more. Email the first: Subj: GOD BLESS   GOD BLESS NICE  PHOTOS,THANKS  WITH THE  NICE  BEAUTYFUL  SEXY  PHOTOS,YOU  SHOULD  BE  JUST  BE  MY  WOMAN,I  ENJOY WATCHING  YOUR  PHOTOS,I  WILL  DO  ANYTHING  FOR  YOU  BABYLOVEMAX   [ MISS  UNION BOYFRIEND  ] Email the second: Subj: GOD BLESS   GOD BLESS STILL  MAX,I  AM JUST  LOOKIN  AT  YOUR  PHOTOS,WHY  DONT  YOU  JUST  BE  WOMAN,BE  WIFE,LOTS  OF  NICE  PHOTOS,GOD  BLESSLOVEMAX Sooooo, as you can see, Max thinks our contact page is a magic sex box.  And I hope he keeps on sending these, cause I assume somehow if he ever finds me and saws me up, the FBI can catch him by tracing them.  Or something.  Shit, I may be screwed....

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Wet Dream

I am sort of sad that novelty songs have seemed to disappear.  Or maybe it’s that I don’t listen to Dr. Demento anymore.  Is he still alive?  Does he have a show?  Do any of you know what the hell I am talking about? Even if you don’t the song after the jump rocks ass.  It is called Wet Dream by Kip Adotta.  if you haven’t heard it, then get clicking.  If you have heard it, get clicking because I am sure you have not heard it for a while.  If you have it playing on your iTunes while reading this – you are pretty weird. This song got me laid once in college.  True story.  Weird story, but true story! wet dreams.mp3 Download it at If you want to see the VERY shitty 80’s video, then you can, but it will ruin it.  Seriously.  It totally ruins it....

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Tim Russert Dead at 58

Tim Russert, host of Meet the Press, died today at the age of 58.  Here are some facts. He was smarter than you He was better than you If you don’t know who he was you’re stupid. Read more here.  I am pissed off and don’t want to talk to anyone...

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Sign Pics! Odd Vantage!

OK – so we all know that a great way to show your appreciation for another website is to take a pic of yourself with a sign professing said appreciation. Like the one below. Oh, and if you want to make REALLY sure that it works out nicely – try to have boobs, and try to get them in the picture somehow. Go read Odd Vantage! We love her back! To see the full size gloriousness – click...

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Dirty Drawings Made Clean

This guy obviously has talent. The video shows him starting out making dirty drawings but then he makes them clean and cute. Since I love cartoon porn, I wish he left them the way they were in the first place. but I never get what I want. And I don’t mean the dicks, either. I don’t trust anyone who is good at drawing dicks. That kid in Superbad made me extra suspicious. Video after the...

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A Guide to Instant Messaging – Part One

Having one or more Instant Messaging programs can be an important, enriching part of your online life. But, poor choices can make what seemed like a fun, convenient way to chat into an life-ending nightmare. Well, maybe not life-ending, but at least annoying and possibly embarrassing. Here is the first part of an ongoing guide designed to help you get the most out of Instant Messaging and to avoid several pitfalls. Handle Choice Many an person has wrecked their life with a bad handle. I have personally blocked people with crappy handles, because I did not want to see them in my buddy list. Of course, I am an elitist dandy, but it does illustrate my point. Bad handles make you less popular. Here are some do’s and don’ts: DO Try to find a name that fits your personality. Something like, “fishlover” or “racefan” or “whorewithnoselfesteem” will make sure that your buddies are reminded of your passions when they are chatting with you. Make sure that you either use first caps: “BadMrBunny” or no caps at all: “shutterbug.” Anyone who uses that messed up capitalization will be outed as a kid or an adult pretending to be a kid. Don’t accept friends with names like: “hUnGAndhOrnY.” Make sure you can get a similar name across the various programs. Why try to remember a bunch of different names? DON’T Use...

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Lazy but informative. That’s me!

Yep. I am lazy. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still give you quality crap to read or watch or lick or whatever you weirdos do with it. That’s right. This is me just mailing it in! I was gonna try to think of a movie review for a movie I hadn’t seen, but then I realized I could help you even more by giving you a real review by a real reviewer. Let’s see if this...

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I don’t get it, but someone else might.

Did you ever hear someone humming a song and just KNOW you know it and it just drives you crazy?  So it bugs you all day and then you bother other people with it?  Humming to them like a moron while they stare at you blankly?  Well, in this story, I am the blankly staring guy.  Cause my friend King Leonidas kept singing it and acting like there was something wrong with me for not knowing it. So I looked it up.  And I listened to it.  And I still don’t have any idea what the Hell it is.  Never heard it.  Never heard anyone hum it until this week.  Listened to it and not a bell rang anywhere for miles.  So I will embed it here.  And I will ask you, pantless readers.  Have you ever heard this song?  Let me know in the comments. And don’t lie.  This is like...

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Live Nasa Feed of the Phoenix Landing on Mars

I thought this was nice.  Thanks to Orange Inks for bringing it to my attention.  Apparently – outer space will be on TV tonight, as Nasa is saying: Program Note: NASA TV Live coverage of the Phoenix landing on Mars begins at 6 p.m. EDT on Sunday, May 25 So what the hell?  Go watch it.  If the thing lands on top of an alien or gets eaten by some sort of space monster, you can say you saw history.  Or you can watch me on my cam, as a pickle from my sandwich lands on my chest.  Not as historic, but 10 times as sexy. Watch the Mars thing. Update!!!  So I watched it, and they made it SOUND like there was gonna be video FROM the space ship.  But it wasn’t.  It was just video of the guys at home base counting and clapping.  So yay that it landed safely, but boo for boring video.  To make up for it (this is for you, small person), here is a video from the last Mars Mission.  Sheesh – you would think we would leave the poor planet ALONE!...

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A Cat Post? I don’t do cat posts.

Ok – so maybe this once I do.  I don’t usually go for all the cat stuff, except the ones that fight with knives and laser guns – but I have a soft spot for the cat in this video.  It’s not just that his back legs don’t work and he walks around all day doing a hand stand.  It’s that he seems to not give a crap that he has to do it. Let that be a lesson to all you cry babies out there who have hangnails and broken legs and other injuries.  If you don’t think about it too much, you can get by just fine.  Like the hand stand cat.  He doesn’t have thumbs anyway, so it isn’t like he is missing out on carrying things in from the car.  He just does his hand stands and gets on with his day.  Click to see him after the jump.  This is totally legit....

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