At first I wasn’t sure why I got this spam or why gmail didn’t block it. Then I got to thinking about how I like things to look naturally perky. If you could see my office right now you would see a naturally perky keyboard, naturally perky lamp, naturally perky sweatpants, all sorts of things. Perky perky perky. But then I went outside and saw all sorts of non perky things: my neighbor, a sad dog, a weeping willow and some saggy-ass boobs. It was then I realized that this spam was a sign from Crom (my god).
So I signed up to be an affiliate for Bare Lifts* and am ready to offer the buy one get one free special even though it will be a huge burden for me. I want…no, I need you all to be as perky as you can be. Every one of you. Except no dudes. Find out how you can take advantage of this amazing offer after the jump.
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*I’m not really an affiliate for anything and if you try to order it I’m just gonna somehow come to your house and grab your cans. I can’t even figure out what the hell the things are supposed to be. There isn’t a picture of them in the ad. But I have two hands so if you want me to muckle on to your chest and lift and separate your boobs so you can feel good going to your fancy party, then, umm email me? I’ll be discrete but you have to understand I will have to walk around behind you the whole time. And I’m also thinking you really don’t want to wait until after the buy one get one free offer expires. The idea of me just holding up one of your boobs is just weird and creepy.
Order now?
Apparently I am in the wrong line of work.
I am curious what a “speciality” bra might be.
I was thinking the ‘buy one, get one’ meant you and vange. And then you could alternate. A girl can’t wear just the one bra all the time. That’s just silly.
They actually have a cowgirl costume like that, hands and all.
Seriously Acadia, professional boob handler should SO be your job. I mean, it’s a REALLY hard job, so we need someone who can “handle” it well.
The question is, though, are you hands big enough for all sizes? You can discriminate against those of us who are overly endowed. If we hire you, you better damn well do your job.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..This Week’s Lee DeWyze Examiner Articles =-.
I meant can’t.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..This Week’s Lee DeWyze Examiner Articles =-.
morgan elektra cleverly wrote:
We have to change them to match outfits. That’s how us girls roll.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..This Week’s Lee DeWyze Examiner Articles =-.
This is great. Your generosity knows no bounds!
.-= David Sobkowiak´s last blog ..So much time, so little to do… =-.
(before/after)
i don’t see enough difference for that to be worth any money.
These things really work.
I like the before! Besides, you don’t want them up too high, because they may smack you in the face when you go jogging. — “Down, girls!!” 😉
morgan elektra cleverly wrote:
We have to change them to match outfits. That’s how us girls roll.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..This Week’s Lee DeWyze Examiner Articles =-.
The Fitness Diva cleverly wrote:
So true! The last thing we need is a black eye from a too perky boob.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..This Week’s Lee DeWyze Examiner Articles =-.
The basic package does not include me running in any way. That’s extra.
I like the before! Besides, you don’t want them up too high, because they may smack you in the face when you go jogging. — “Down, girls!!” 😉