A black chick and a Jewish dude walk into a bar.  The bartender says: “Hey, there were 10 white people in here with Mel Gibson and he said that all 10 of them were gonna be on Big Brother this summer cause they were so white and not Jewish!”

“That sort of seems racist and nonsensical” agreed the two minorities.  “Julie Chen is…something not white and there is always a gay guy.  Doesn’t Mel know one of those white guys is gay?”

“Mel doesn’t count the gays as people,” the bartender offered helpfully.  “But I did hear him swearing that the network said that they needed to fit in at least two minorities and the Italian guy from New Jersey didn’t count.  Next two people to jump in that van that has the ‘Honk if you love Jesus but you will blow me first’ bumper sticker get to be on the show!”

And that’s how we got the white-personest, hunkiest, big tittiest best lookingest Big Brother Ever!  It’s like if Hitler watched this year’s Big Brother he would be all nudging everyone and saying: “SEE!  I told you!  Look how pretty!”  And if appealing to Hitler were not bad enough, they seem to be saddled with the worst “twist” since season 5 (Big Brother slips you rufies). There is a “Saboteur” in the house.  And he or she doesn’t want to win the 500k!  Their job is to ‘wreak havoc’ in the house and if they last 5 weeks they get 50 grand.  My official guess as to who it is, plus a ton more tit contestant talk after the jump!

I think the saboteur is the gay dude.  My reasoning?  When they were pretending to be surprised about being picked for the show, everyone was in a realistic-looking location except that bow-tied fool.  He was standing in front of a white-board with like, four students sitting directly in front of him in waiting room chairs.  It looked like a porn set.  So that’s my guess. Ragan.  The gay dude.

As for the concept of the saboteur, I think it is stupid right now. But if they allow him to give people the shits or paint them, I am 100% behind the twist.  If it is just lame like the padlocking the food door, then I hope they catch the little bastard right away.

And now on to the tits!  And before anyone gets confused or offended:  I’m OBJECTIFYING them.  I also hope some chick decides to write this with me cause I don’t want to admit how hunky the dudes are.

Annie "Bisexual" Little Titties.

Regular Sized Southern Titties.

Deputy Sheriff Titties

Stealthy Big Titties. They're big, but they need to be coaxed out.

Token Black Titties

Ridiculously Enourmous Nuclear Nose Cones (psst...she's my favorite so far)