OK, so I don’t know any other way to say it.  I was WRONG.  I didn’t guess the Sabotager.  On the other hand, I was right when I said to myself: the people in this house are idiots.  So on top of the regular recap, I’m also going to include things I have actually heard or said in my life.  You can have fun trying to guess whether I heard it or said it.  Or you can suck it. Nobody said I wasn’t fair.

On to the REVENGE OF TEAM FINGER!

When we last left our story, Team Derh had gotten Annie the Bisexual on the block to replace Superman, which I said was stupid.  They, however, refused to listen to me (seems to be a pattern in my life) and were all quite pleased with their plan.  So now we go on to the hot white sticky BULLETS OF RECAP:

  • I have to accept the fact that the editors of the show only show us what they want us to see.  I think you should all send me some money so I can quit my job and watch the live feed all day.  It will make the recaps better.
  • “You could live if you jumped off this.”
  • The live show sucks it because it revolves around Julie Chen asking the house guests stupid questions and the live vote is terrible.  I want my votes more…exciting.
  • “Well.  I guess.  Pick things up and…see what’s under ’em.”
  • Annie was pissed that she was nominated and she stomped around in her odd shoes (see pics) and bitched and fumed.
  • Superman tried to console her.  He seems to be getting dumber.  Or is he dumb like a smart person?
  • “I’ll eat this right here, right now.  Without using my hands.”
  • Later, Superman got together with Supertits for some more under-the-blanket hot finger action.  Except Supertits got mad when, WHILST fingering, Superman started complaining about how he felt badly about Annie.  This sent Supertits into a sort of rage.  And I can’t say as I blame her.  “EEEEHAW!” She said.  “I’m trying to get all messy with you and you are talking about that other girl!  EEEEHAW!”

Then Superman CRIES!  I’m breaking the bullet points here.  HE CRIES!  Go look at what he said in the pics.  That’s your strategy?  You have the biggest boobs in the history of Big Brother to bounce around on and your plan is to CRY LIKE A SISSY ASS?  The real Superman didn’t even cry when Zod, the short-haired chick and the beard one kicked his ass all over Metropolis.  This weakness is NOT good for anything.  I’m gonna go back to bullet points now, but I don’t like this one bit.  Sissy.

  • Annie (who I loved more and more as the episode went on) was revealed as the Sabotager.  I was disappointed that I was wrong.  I was also disappointed that Ragan the gay guy has to teach in a made up school.  They showed how Annie did her tricks and since she was on the block someone at CBS was realizing that this was the worst twist EVER!
  • “Dude, don’t touch that blanket.  He puked light on it.  If you eat Funyuns, you puke light.
  • A few minutes after she was revealed to be the Sabotager, she was voted out unanimously.  Poor Annie.  Her speech was awesome and 100% dead on.  Why leave Team Finger intact?  WHY?
  • Annie proved herself to be engaging and sweet in her exit interview.  Maybe she will get a job hosting Bisexual Wipeout!
  • Oh, then they had the Head of Household competition and Supertits won, giving Team Finger control of the house.  Poor team Derh.
  • I have NO idea who to root for now.  I guess The Jewish guy and Stealth Tits?  Baby Blonde and Momma Blonde?  Someone?  Just not Team Derh or Team Finger.  I need HELP!
  • “You told her parents I did drugs and bad stuff.”

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