OK so here’s my problem. This crop of Big Brotherer’s, particularly the ones on the block after the big Veto competition, are so stupid that I am rooting for someone who said:
I wouldn’t trust her with a ten foot pole. — Annie the bisexual.
Why? Who doesn’t she trust with a 10 foot pole? Who was the first idiot to say ‘bold move’? Who made it less likely that other people will want to use the hammock? Find out after the jump! Oh, but before the jump. Annie doesn’t trust the little blonde. The little blonde who said she got off “Scotch Free”. Fucking ugh.
Okay – so the Veto episode is really my fave of the week cause it is the only one that can get spoiled by “Big Brother After Dark” thing on Showtime. I suppose I should Tivo that so that I can be right on the spot if a boob flies out but I cannot bear to watch these idiots for three hours a day unedited. I needed Clockwork Orange Eye-opening device just to sit through the gathering of Team Derh (The Brigade) as they ‘plotted’. Then again, at least they have a name. I’ll try to give people names now as I do the .44 MAGNUM BULLET POINT RECAP!
- Superman and Supertits (team Finger — you’ll see why later) were mad that they were nominated. Superman decided that Farm Boy had made a DANGEROUS ENEMY. Supertits said: EEEEHAW. I’m not sure why but whenever I see Supertits Rachel now I just yell EEEEHAW at the screen. I haven’t done that to anyone else yet, though.
- Post nomination hug-fest ensues. Why do people who were not nominated hug other people who were not nominated? Is it s show rule?
- Proving that cliches are cliches for a reason, not one but TWO members of Team Derh return to the scene of the crime and follow the nominees into their little cry room to…investigate? Something? Look suspicious?
- Since Bisexual Annie also talked to the nominees and sounded somewhat sympathetic, Meow Meow the pride of Bayonne was then convinced she was the third member of team Finger. She wasn’t. Remember that people. She wasn’t. It’s the first frigging week.
- Team Finger, also being morons, do not seem to think that their constant muckling on to one another is making them look like an alliance. So their big plan after they get nominated is to get in the hammock, cover themselves with a blanket and then I think Superman might have fingered Supertits. I could not tell but that’s their team name so I assume he did. Check the pics for the VERY awkward thing that Supertits says during the fingering and watch the bisexual who is supposed to be on their team do a spit take as the rest of the house mocks them.
- At this point in the game Team Derh is trying to work out what would happen if Superman got taken off the block as a result of the Veto competition. I’m not gonna drag this out because they are really idiots but here is how it went down. Meow Meow said that they would need to make a BOLD MOVE and put up Annie. For some reason. See, his reasoning had been that Team Finger needed to be broken up. But then as soon as someone mentioned Annie he went apeshit and decided she needed to go. The other Farm Boy (the short haired one) made an very rational argument that Annie could be swayed later on whereas Supertits could NEVER be swayed so they would need to get rid of Supertits. Remember that.
- The Veto competition made the contestants smash open pinatas full of rancid mayo and find letters. Then whoever spelled the longest correctly spelled word won the veto. Meow Meow was in this competition. Remember. The longest word won. The winning word was “understanding”. 13 letters. Check the pics for Meow Meow’s effort.
- Superman WINS THE VETO!
- The Sabotager informs the house that two of the house guests have known each other their WHOLE LIVES. Everyone immediately believes this. The Kosher Moron then leaps up and says: “I can’t be the sabotager cause I would never be friends with any of you cause you don’t know anything about Judaism.” So, a few things. One, are you the reverse Mel Gibson Anti-Gentle? Second, how does that not make you the Sabotager? Nobody said that the person was friends with the Sabotager. All that was said was that people knew each other. Moron.
- Superman vetoes himself. Farmboy puts up Annie instead of the Sheriff thereby putting the outcome of the vote in doubt. So now Team Finger could be preserved. Superman is loose in the house and is really pissed at Framboy and whichever one of the chicks gets voted off they will still be on his side. Well played, Team Derh. Well played.
- When asked for comment, Supertits said: EEEE HAW
I find it hard to believe you are rooting for someone named “Supertits” to be kicked off.