How come I even know who Leann Rimes is?  She had one song a million years ago.  I think it was called: “Yodeling Jailbait” and now it is 20 something years later and apparently she got a boob job and turned into Jaime Pressly?  Why do I care?  Isn’t Taylor Swift the blonde squinty-eyed country singer we are supposed to care about now?  Does Leann Rimes still even sing songs?

And another thing.  How come celebrities get all pissed when the paparazzi takes pictures of them when they have their pastrami flaps hanging out or are strangling their illegal immigrant maids but strut around back and forth just WAITING to get photographed when they have something to show off?  Why don’t they just hire their own photographers and then take all the pictures they want?  And they could make a couple of bucks selling the pics to the Enquirer.  Who loses in this?  The answer: Nobody.

So take a look at these pics and explain to me why Leann Rimes matters.  Or, even better, listen to her yodeling song after the jump that she recorded when she was like, fifteen.  Then look back fast to her grown up, bikini body.  Then keep doing that back and forth really fast for 20 seconds.  Then close your eyes and you will see pedobear!