Rosie Huntington Whiteley.  How are you supposed to be lecherous about a chick whose names sounds like she just stepped out of some horse-drawn carriage while wearing petticoats and a big hat?  When being pervy, it helps when the girls have sluttish names.  What’s a sluttish name?  Stuff like Tiffany or Crystal or Trampy fits the bill, whereas Nora, Blanche and Rosie Huntington Whitely do not.

If you write three names then people will call you by three names.  My middle name is Titmonger but you don’t see me playing it up because I don’t want people thinking I’m showing off like James Earl Jones does.  As for Rosie Huntington Whitely, she has a nice butt.  I’m not sure what else I should be saying about her.  I think she’s a model, so having a nice butt is pretty much her job.  She’s doin’ it right.

Actually, I think I could make up one of those weird sex acts and call it the Rosie Huntington Whitely.  Check out the options after the jump (X-Rated!).

The Rosie Huntington Whiteley is when…

  1. The girl gives the guy a hand job using only one hand while wearing white gloves and drinking a cup of tea.
  2. Straight missionary sex while lying on an overcoat laid over a mud puddle.
  3. The girl shoves a trumpet up the guy’s ass and leaves it there while smacking his nuts with a riding crop.  This is also known as the “Worcestershire Fox Hunt”.
  4. The girl is on top of the guy and he reaches around her and spanks her with a parasol.

If you can think of any others put them in the comments.  If you’re lucky, you might get Rosie Huntington Whiteley’d tonight!