Staph
There are about 1000 different species on your body right now.  Doesn’t matter if you just got out of the shower or just got done wriggling out of a sewer pipe.  You are covered in filth.  In fact, there are more germs on your body right now than there are people in the United States.  Which means that technically, Chinese and Indian people are cleaner than we are.  If you go by germs as compared to population that is.

Anyway, you are gross and you better not touch me.  I’m not like that.  I wear a plastic suit all the time.