Bolivians Play “Old Timey Prisoner” in Hopes of Riches.

Acadia Einstein

rock breaker

There are 12 Bolivians in the Olympics this go around and I think I know how they made the team.  Apparently, every year, Bolivian Catholics break rocks for wishes and the faster the rock splits the sooner the wish will come true.  Like the guy who had a bunch of rocks in his yard that were too big who tricked thousands of dummies to come break them for him.

“You can ask for a house, a car, all your wishes are fulfilled,” said believer Ricardo Tarqui. “I broke the rock with a second blow and in a third attempt. I have been able to buy a house and also a car.”

Right off the bat, it seems like they don’t do very well with the rock breaking unless the most common wish is to sell CDs while playing the pan flute at a flea market. Based on the picture, if they have been doing this for hundreds of years one would think all the rocks would be pretty small by now.  At least they are getting exercise.  When Americans want to make a wish they use eyelashes or blow out tiny candles or on dandelions or lie on the ground and wait for a star to do something.  Damn we’re lazy.

Maybe Bolivia can parlay their wish-mongering strength into Olympic gold if we petition to let that carnival bell ringing thing that you have to whack with a hammer in as an exhibition sport in 2020.

I have run the site since 2005. And I have to say I am pretty damn proud of it. I wrote the book Whalewolf (sold on and am not even close to tired so I am just going to keep going. I was born in Portland, Maine and I currently live in New York and Charlotte, North Carolina. I keep hoping that at some point all these weird rebels are gonna say: "SURPRISE!" and act normal. Eight years and counting....

One Comment

  1. Cider
    August 17, 2016 at 3:01 pm

    Ha ha ha. Another example of Americans being lazy AF.

Let us know what you think. Being on-topic is NOT required.