Bubba & Cooter’s Sure Fire Pick-Up Lines

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Thank you for purchasing ‘Bubba & Cooter’s Book of Sure-fire Pick-up Lines’ brought to you by Bubba & Cooter.  You won’t need luck with the ladies anymore!

1) Did you fart?  ‘Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?  ‘Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea; I can’t hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?   ‘Cuz I’d like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?  ‘Cuz I can see myself in ’em.

6) If you was a tree & I was a Squirrel, I’d store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin’ girl here, but beauty’s only a light switch away.

8) Man – “Fat Penguin!”
Woman – ‘WHAT?’
Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break the ice.”

9) I know I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him?  I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin’, we kin sleep ’til afternoon.

AND.. the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench.  Every time I think of it, my nuts tighten up.

I started working for The Gallery back in 2006, reorganizing the Tongue Galleries, and somehow just became seduced by the oddity of celebrity tongues. From there, I built and created the mine from nothing and then began editing articles and now I do everything except worry about getting sued. Eat that, Acadia. Mister Big Shot!


  1. Mom
    August 10, 2009 at 8:42 am

    I gave you a Quickie Link.


    It’s the closest thing to a quickie that you’ll ever get from me.


  2. Rob
    August 10, 2009 at 11:00 am

    I am gonna have to remember # 12 : )

  3. Descartes
    August 10, 2009 at 11:08 am

    I like #7

  4. April
    August 11, 2009 at 7:14 am

    ROFL Thanks for the Laugh 😀

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