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Buy me this. Seriously. Now.

I know I ask for a lot, but seriously I need a yacht that has a matching car that drives onto the yacht and then the yacht sails away.  With me on it.  And probably I would have some gold on it.  Bars, doubloons, rope, all the coolest forms that gold comes in.  I haven’t really planned past that, though.  Maybe I’ll race other billionaires around the Pacific or plan elaborate heists.

Or maybe I’ll sell the boat and keep the car!  Then the fool that has the boat can drive their Nissan Stanza onto the Yacht and feel not as cool as me.  Then again, if I look closely at that car it sort of looks like it doesn’t have doors.  Hmm.  Maybe I should just keep the doubloons.  But that’s my decision.  Not yours.  You just make with the buying.  It’s important to me, and that means it’s important to you.

Next I’ll find a car that a boat can sail into.  You can have that.  Even trade.

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.


  1. Sangfroid

    If you’re going to spend 24 million shouldn’t you commission your own custom yacht?

  2. vange

    I think you missed the part where he directed strangers to buy it for him.

  3. Sangfroid

    He’d probably park a Honda Civic in the floating garage anyway.

  4. Acadia

    I don’t have that kind of car.

  5. captain america

    pssst: The United States Are Still Bankrupt, folks!!

  6. Acadia

    *looks in driveway*

    *looks in yacht-shaped area of backyard*

    You people are FAILING!

  7. Nicole Ireland

    Now if you have gold bars and whatever, why can’t you buy it yourself? Better yet, why they hell aren’t you buying me the car and yacht? I’ll be your best friend forever.

  8. Acadia

    how does that help me? and shush about my gold

  9. Jenny

    I’m still waiting for you to buy me an iPad. Maybe after you get off your lazy ass and buy me that iPad, I’ll think a little harder about buying your fancy car and matching yacht for the parking of your fancy car.

  10. Frank

    this is the sweetest thing EVER!

  11. Patrick

    I think you should give one away as a prize.. just sayin


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