BUY NOW It’s Christmas fools!
I thought I’d come up with some gift suggestions for those people who hard to buy for. For example what do you get for a superhero with a T on his face? “Moar Boobs” works but the cannier women out there have wised up to that trick already. Besides everyone knows he wants a cool new James Bond ski car because the last Acadiamobile got a dent. I’d buy it for him if the Acadiabucks he pays me with were actually accepted anywhere. I guess I’ll just order something from the Super Hero Supplies Catalog, a glitter cape maybe. Well that’s one Christmas gift taken care of…………….
What do you get for the girl who keeps everything running and looks good doing it? Teddy Bear Adidas by Jeremy Scott of Beverly Hills! Look she was going to wear the latex Darth Vader costume I bet she has the guts for Teddy Bear shoes.
Zombie Mints for the horror crowd! They taste like brains. Really brainy brains.
A Survival Card for those moving to former Eastern Block countries. Just in case you’d better be prepared.
Now I was going to get a Squirrel Foot Necklace for Vange but you know there’s another lady out there who would appreciate it just so much more.
Now you would think Fundies Undies for Two would be the most perverted item on the list but keep scrolling down.
You’ve talked her into wearing a Pearl Necklace before now you can make the sentiment permanent. If she’s kinky enough to wear it in public I want to meet her.
For the Geek in our lives a Harry Potter wand that actually works! Well it changes stations on the TV you can shout Expelliarmus at me all you want.
Archie Mcphee is one of my favorite catalogs ever. Why shop anywhere else when you can get full size horse head masks and bacon air fresheners for your car?
Ah who the hell am I kidding. Everyone forgets my birthday because of Christmas. I’m gonna Scrooge out this year. Bah Humbug to you all! Buy your own crap.