Editor’s note – I think this is too new to be on snopes yet – I don’t know ’cause I didn’t look. Anyway, this goes under freedom of speech cause it might be a lie, but I did hear once that volcanoes cause a lot of CO2. If you are a scientist please let me know.
Oh what's the fucking use? Really!
All of you out there in America and across the globe who have fought so hard to tackle the hideous enemy of our planet, namely carbon emissions, you know ….that bogus god worshiped called “Climate Change” or “global warming” ….well, I hate to inform you of some bad news. It really does pain me to have to bring you this disappointing information.
Are you sitting down?
Okay, here’s the bombshell. The current volcanic eruption going on in Iceland, since its first spewing of volcanic ash this past week, has, to this point, NEGATED EVERY SINGLE EFFORT you have made in the past five years to control CO2 emissions on our planet.
I know, I know…. (group hug)…it’s very disheartening to realize that all of the carbon emission savings you have accomplished while suffering the inconvenience and expense of: driving Prius hybrids, buying fabric grocery bags, sitting up til midnight to finish your kid’s “The Green Revolution” science project, throwing out all of your non-green cleaning supplies, using only two squares of toilet paper, putting a brick in your toilet tank reservoir, selling your SUV and speedboat, going on vacation to a city park instead of Yosemite, nearly getting hit every day on your bicycle, replacing all of your $1 light bulbs with $10 light bulbs …well, all of those things you have done have all gone down the tubes in just the past four days.
The volcanic ash emitted into the Earth’s atmosphere in the past four days has totally erased every single effort you have made to reduce the evil beast, carbon.
I’m so sorry. And I do wish I had a silver lining to this volcanic ash cloud but the fact of the matter is that the brush fire season across the western U.S.A. will start in about two months and those fires will negate your efforts to reduce carbon in our world for the next two years.
But hey, grab a Coke, give the world a hug and have a nice day!
Oh no! So, does that mean I have to walk everywhere the rest of my life to make up for it?! Seriously, I grabbed a glas of vino, gave the world a hug and intend to have a good night.
You see, that’s why I drive a gas guzzling carbon emitting monster truck EVERY I go. Mother Nature does nothing but piss on us every time she gets the chance. Screw her.
It is probably true. The US Geological Survey says volcanoes emit up to 255 million metric tonnes of CO2 annually, and the United Nations CDIAC group says that the US and China -combined- emit under 12 million tonnes annually. So it would be very easy for a volcano to eclipse the tiny fraction of CO2 saved every five years.
I don’t think people do many of these things just to reduce CO2. There is more than one benefit to riding a bike, like losing weight or saving gas money. I don’t know anyone who cycles just to save carbon.
.-= Steve´s last blog ..5/10/2010: Stupid old ladies who say “Oh, just wait until you’re older.” (1 Comment) =-.
Well, you just educated me because I had not heard that. It’s a good thing that I use green chemicals because I hate chemicals in general and want to use the least harmful ones.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Only Us =-.
More bad news for you. The Indian pictured in the article is actually an Italian that played native Americans in film his whole life….everything is a lie.
And chemicals is chemicals there is absolutely no such thing as green chemicals….but just keep believing that and tinkerbell will come and take us all away to never never land…
.-= Talen´s last blog ..UDD Conditions for Peace, Arrest Suthep =-.
So, does that mean I can start throwing my empty cigarette packs out the car window again? And can I stop recycling for crying out loud. I’m tired of putting things in bins, damn it.
.-= Jenny Beans´s last blog ..Paul Elard Cooley’s ‘Tattoo’ =-.
best cowgirl I has ben eve rseen
Jenny Beans cleverly wrote:
No, because Al Gore will come to your house and scold you. Personally I think McDonalds should bring back those awesome Styrofoam boxes. But, if you see an Indian on the side of the road crying you have permission to throw garbage at him while screaming pussy.
Wait… we were supposed to be REDUCING carbon? D’oh!!
.-= Jim Ryan´s last blog ..Online Gestalt Entities =-.
Actually, the good news is that volcanic ash often reduces temperatures. Maybe Al Gore triggered the volcano?
Probably not true, so hope you post this response. Humans create 130 times the CO2 of all volcanoes every year. See the U.S. Department of Interior, U.S. Geological Survey (http://volcanoes.usgs.gov/hazards/gas/index.php):
Comparison of CO2 emissions from volcanoes vs. human activities.
Scientists have calculated that volcanoes emit between about 130-230 million tonnes (145-255 million tons) of CO2 into the atmosphere every year (Gerlach, 1991). This estimate includes both subaerial and submarine volcanoes, about in equal amounts. Emissions of CO2 by human activities, including fossil fuel burning, cement production, and gas flaring, amount to about 27 billion tonnes per year (30 billion tons) [ ( Marland, et al., 2006) – The reference gives the amount of released carbon (C), rather than CO2, through 2003.]. Human activities release more than 130 times the amount of CO2 emitted by volcanoes–the equivalent of more than 8,000 additional volcanoes like Kilauea (Kilauea emits about 3.3 million tonnes/year)! (Gerlach et. al., 2002)