You could cut glass with those cheekbones, lordy.

I may well be the only one who thinks crazy thoughts (yeah, right) but when I look at Cate Blanchett, I think, “Oh, so that’s what Gwyneth’s going for.”  Cate strikes me as the real deal. She is genuinely classy and elegant. I believe her to be effortlessly gracious and charming. She has that frosty beauty and wonderful posture.

Gwyneth, on the other hand, seems like she is really trying too hard. She feels some weird need to pretend to be “normal”  while posting about $48593030294.99 shoes. She is oddly critical of lesser beings and she named her kid Apple. Wonder if she hopes to get in Steve Jobs’ will. BECAUSE APPLE NEEDS AN INHERITANCE.  Other things that bug me about GP:  She’s pointy where she shouldn’t be and flat in the roundy places. She annoys me.

I know. GP is an accomplished, critically acclaimed actress, blah de fucking blah. I’ve seen exactly two movies she was in: The Royal Tenenbaums and the first Iron Man. I admittedly loved the Royal Tenenbaums but it was in spite of her not because of her. Iron Man was meh. She didn’t seem like she was acting because I think she really is a frigid uptight boring secretary.

I’m pretty sure the only Cate Blanchett movie I’ve seen is the Dylan one, I’m Not There. She was fantastic. She wins and GP can suck it. Go lookit a bajillion pix of the lovely and talented Cate Blanchett.