Game of Thrones: Kissed by Fire

It has always been my opinion that one of the hardest challenges an actor will ever face is to soliloquize while naked in a bath. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Jaime) had his opportunity in this episode. He was so good with the delerious  revelation of why he had to kill Mad King Aerys that I forgot the…

Game of Thrones: And Now His Watch is Ended

This past week the United States Ambassador to Australia felt the need to threaten the citizens of that nation after it was revealed that they pirate Game of Thrones more than anyone else. Ambassador Bleich should get a subscription to Superficial Gallery since we’ve already explained why HBO forces people into becoming pirates and we…

Game of Thrones: Dark Wings, Dark Words

According to Sally Kempton, the socialite turned swami: “Women are natural guerrillas. Scheming we nestle into the enemy’s bed, avoiding open warfare, watching the options, playing the odds.” Sally has a lot more to say about the limitations of traditional feminine mystique, but we’re talking about a show that Saturday Night Live has parodied by…

You Should Watch This – Face Off

You hear they had to call off the lepers’ hockey game?  THERE WAS A FACE OFF IN THE CORNER!  *writes apology to American Lepers League*.  So I am willing to bet that since most of you goobers can’t stop blabbering about Dr. Who and Firefly long enough for me to catch you and give you…

The Top Two Lists of Top 10 Posts of 2012

Well, it’s the end of a year and the beginning of another.  Time for me to take stock of the year that was here at the Gallery and then ridicule it mercilessly.  If you’d like to see how things shook out in 2010 or 2011, just click those links.  Holy crap, I’ve been here for…

Happy Halloween – Watch this movie!

I walk around my back yard sometimes and when I’m not thinking about where I would shoot from if Red Dawn ever really happens I’m thinking about turning the whole thing into a haunt.  You know.  Haunted house?  Have people come through and get scared.  It gets more popular and elaborate every year. I become…

Agent Acadia and the Ticking Time Bomb

When one is disarming a bomb, one needs to keep calm.  Panic causes mistakes and makes one sweat.  Then the sweat gets in ones eyes and ruins their designer T-shirts.  Agent Acadia Einstein knew all this because he was currently ruining his shirt and squinting terribly and wished that standard secret agent attire included a…