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When Mommy and Daddy Fight – with Bags of Money

When Mommy and Daddy Fight – with Bags of Money

bruce-kris-in-touch

Celebrities are rich because they get paid a lot of money to do what they do, but they STAY rich because everyone gives them crap for free.  The simple fact that they exist means they get gift baskets and free dinners and trips and probably yachts.  Which is what makes celebrity divorces so fun for me.

When famous people split up it is pretty much the only time someone is guaranteed to have to pay for something.  Lawyers, alimony, press secretaries, everyone gets a piece.  And sure at the end of it all they are doing is splitting the money and whatnot but there is still less at the end than there was in the beginning and since I am a spiteful monster that’s good enough for me.

And it isn’t like I want ALL the celebs to get divorced.  Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel need to stay together because if they split up I would go insane trying to figure out which one of them to try for.  Well, not really, but JT sure is handsome and talented.  But it isn’t likely they are splitting up, especially now that he put a baby in her.

It’s not a big surprise that Kanye West and Kim Kardashian have the worst odds of staying together.  They are listed at 4 to 1 and that seems generous.  I mean, Kanye wrote Gold Digger.  HE WROTE A SONG ABOUT HIS OWN WIFE!  I keep thinking that they are going to get divorced and Kanye is going to say that it was all a big piece of performance art.  Did I say thinking?  I meant hoping.  I know pretty much everyone hates Kanye but I hate Kim more.  Watching them go after each other would be like watching Hitler’s Ghost Army of Nazi’s fight Isis.  No matter who wins, yay!

About The Author

Acadia Einstein

I'm the funny one. And the handsome one. And I pay for everything.

1 Comment

  1. Cider

    This whole family is one of the most offensive things to me, really, so I celebrate a divorce except for the fact that I will have to hear about it constantly. WEARY SIGH.

    Reply

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